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as christmas fast approaches I find myself sinking into a place that feels really weird. The more I hear about Christmas, the more I want to run the other way. I am despising all things jolly, and just turning away like a broken animal when someone mentions trees or presents or dinners. I don't understand why, when I should be celebrating the birth of my Savior, all I can do is throw the covers over my head and wish it would go away. I gotta do something about it, but then my bed would get lonely without me in it.