catching up is hard to do

Just a little update of the last few days. It's been raining off and on for last 2 days but Monday I had gone out to water the flowers and as I was moving the hose back and forth something flew out of the Mexican sunflowers. I thought it was a butterfly but then it moved again and it was a big ol' praying mantis and it flew straight for me and so I ended up screaming like a sissy girl. But it curved and kept on going around a bush. By the time I got done watering and got back out there with my camera I couldn't find him so I was a little bummed. But this morning guess what was back on the sunflowers? The praying mantis! I ran to get my camera and took a few shots of him, but the sun kept going in and out of the clouds so I would have to adjust my settings and by the time I got it set the sun would change again. I got a few good shots I think. He kept looking at me every where I turned the camera. I just told him to stay where he was and don't jump on me. The first shot isn't particularly great but i like the way the flowers are glowing in the background. I didn't do any editing except increase the color a little, they just came out that way.







And then I saw this little spider on the fern so I thought I would include him in the party. Not that I like spiders but he felt left out.



Since I had a day off work today I decided to start on a project that I've had on the waiting list for a few months now. I thought it was going to be easy, but it was a lot more involved than I anticipated and it seems like every time I start sewing my allergies act up and I spend the day with tissues stuffed up my nose so I'm able to use the sewing machine without dripping snot everywhere. Sorry but that the way it is.





Anyway, I got a good start on the booties before I just absolutely had to stop for fear of blowing my nose to pieces. It started raining so I took a break and got out the camera again and got a few water drop shots. I want to be able get better at spontaneously taking pictures and not worrying about what people think.












It occurred to me the other day while I was waiting for my dog to go potty that I take a lot of close up shots. I love to get right up on something and see how much detail I can get. But it was just one of those "aha" moments that I was bumming about not being good at landscape shots like this guy whose pictures make me want to cry they're so beautiful. My sister laughed at me when I told her that, but it's the truth. This little voice in my head said "you take close up shots because you can't see the big picture". Wow. Is that true? Am I so caught up in my own life that I can't see what's going on around me? If so then I need to change something, and not just so I can take better pictures, but because if I'm only concerned with myself then I'm not doing the will of God. I take things as they come, you know? I know I can't change something that's already happened so what's the point in worrying about it? If God wants it to be this way or that way, who am I to question His methods? I've never worried much about what's going to happen next because I figure God knows what he's doing. Does that mean there's something wrong with me? I do know it's not all about me, and most of the time I put the credit off on somebody else, then why am I still so self-centered?






I think though maybe it comes from the knowledge that He tells us this in Matthew "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." But if I'm not worrying about tomorrow shouldn't I be using that energy to forward His kingdom? The answer is most definitely yes, but am I doing it? Sadly no. Knowing that God will take care of all my needs does not forgive me from going out and helping others who have far less than me.

I know I've rambled far off the subject, but I don't know how else to express this realized feeling of being so insignificant because I'm so wrapped up in my own little bubble I don't see the suffering that goes on at my own doorstep. The Bible tells us in 1 Corinthians 12:27 "The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ." In fact that whole chapter describes being part of the body of Christ. And maybe knowing this is part of the reason I do close ups. I'm just a small part of something much, much bigger and to try to be more than I am would not work. Maybe I'm not supposed to "see the big picture" just yet. Although in my head it sounded like a negative thing. That sounds stupid to compare taking pictures to being a part of God. I don't know how else to explain it. I guess that's why I didn't major in philosophy.



Ugh, the more I write the more confused I get so I'm just gonna stop now and let it go as what is is. I'll try to start looking past the end of my nose and see what happens.