I have hope!

So many things have been happening I hardly know where to begin. I feel a bit guilty for not updating as often as I used to but every time I sit down to write something it doesn't seem that important.

I got a job in October of last year at a daycare that is 1 block from my house and so now that it's warmer I can walk to work cause let me tell ya I need to walk! I was not happy at first because I was making minimum wage, the kids were heathens (they still are), and just general suckiness all around.

I started selling stuff on Ebay and was really nervous at first but now I've got a lot of stuff on there. You should go check it out. I have been quite successful in this endeavor and I'm very thankful to God for allowing me to be able to do this. I'm trying to focus on vintage clothing but I have a lot of plus size stuff also so I'm just gonna wing it for a while and see how it goes. I think I need to be a buyer for vintage clothing stores because it's like once I start looking I just don't want to stop! I've started to get an eye for all things vintage and it excites me.

Things have gotten better at the daycare also. The one kid that I was having to most problems with got sent to another daycare, we found out Friday that we are now wearing scrubs as our"uniform" which is one of the reasons I wanted to get a job at a hospital, and we're getting a raise! I've started tithing again now that I actually have money to give and God has truly blessed me in the past month and I can't begin to express my gratitude. I had a talk with my pastor today and he told me that it sounds like God is about to do something big with me so I shouldn't get ahead of myself with how good things are going and it kind of confirmed what I was thinking. I think even though it's not the perfect job for me God wants me there to do something good for these kids. My financial situation is still in the dumps but I can see a tiny speck of light at the end of this serpentine tunnel and it gives me hope.
I pray that God will continue to use me where I am until the day I can freely say "here I am, send me."

Valentine?

For some reason I really like this picture.

cupcakes, yummy cupcakes

Dracula Cupcake, originally uploaded by cookiejartx.

I thought I would catch up with some of the blogs I read, and as I was reading Betty's (which has moved to another server; shows how much I keep up huh) I came across this blog all about cupcakes!!
They look so good I just want to eat them all right now. I think I have a sugar addiction. Seriously. I was gonna post pictures of my favorite ones, but if you just go to the cupcake blog you can see all of them and I won't have to be redundant picture poster girl. Oh, ok. Maybe just one!

It was time...

Sunday I did something I would not have done just a couple of months ago. I got my hair cut! So big whoop, right? Well, it was for me. I haven't cut my hair for about 4 years and it was almost like a security blanket for me. The minute my friend cut my braid off and handed it to me, it wasn't my hair anymore. It was so weird. I knew it was mine, but it felt like it no longer belonged to me. It was a little icky, feeling the hair that I used to twirl through my fingers many, many times. Oh well, here's some pictures for ya:

ooo this is very artistic, look I have a halo!




the before shot:

time away in Florida

Today marks the first week that I've been in Florida for my 2 1/2 week stay at Wycliffe Bible Translators Spring Training Camp. I really didn't know what to expect other than taking care of babies all day in childcare. I didn't know anything about Wycliffe except that it's where my friend Rachel is serving as a missionary and they translate the Bible into different languages. I went in thinking oh I'll just do my thing and not have to worry about the other people because they're not concerned with me anyway. That is so not the case. These people, who have never met each other before, come from all over the U.S. and treat each other like family. That is semi-foreign to me. I'm used to people saying hello and then just going about their business and not really caring if you answer back or not. But this is something I long for, to be a part of a group that not only asks you how you are, but truly wants to know the answer and if it's not the best report, they want to pray with you about whatever 's wrong. I want so badly to fit in, but then the thought comes into my head that I'm not on the same level as them because they know what drives them, they have a purpose and a mission, and they know that they belong to God and they're willing to give up everything to spread his words to all people. For example, every night we've had the upcoming missionaries tell about how they got involved with Wycliffe, and 2 of the girls who spoke have turned down marriage proposals because that would hinder their commitment to God. I could tell it was a difficult decision for both of them and it broke my heart to see their pain. I want to be committed to God like that.

I'm running out of time so I'll continue this another day. Got to go take care of those babies! 4 under a year and all boys. Oy!

stretching

stretching, originally uploaded by Leia Speia.

How funny is my little Lola being? She was dead asleep and when my mother tried to move the blanket, she decided to stretch and roll. I caught it at just the right time.

I googled myself

I found an article about the show I did last year that I had no clue was in the paper. Of course, I don't get the Chatt. paper so why should I be surprised that I knew nothing about it? Anyway, here's the article.


Behind-the-scenes for "Dr. Dolittle"
Chattanoogans help to ready musical for national tour
Wednesday Jan. 11, 2006

Filed by Susan Pierce

Staff Photo by Angela Lewis

Cast members of Dr. Doolittle dance during a rehearsal at the Tivoli Tuesday afternoon. The national tour of the production begins Friday.

(Times Free Press reporter Susan Pierce went behind-the-scenes for rehearsals of "Dr. Dolittle" to be presented at the Tivoli Theater this Friday and Saturday at 8 p.m.)

With two days left before the curtain rises on the premiere of "Dr. Dolittle," the quiet, pristine marble lobby of the Tivoli Theatre is buzzing with the whir of sewing machines and conversation.

The lobby has become the temporary costume shop of designer Dona Granata and assistant costume designer Jeriana Hochberg. Ms. Granata - part of the creative team assembled by Tommy Tune, "Dr. Doolittle's" star and director - has been charged by the star with creating 98 costumes in only six weeks time.

"Well, considering the transit strike in New York then Christmas and New Year's holidays, it's been more like one month," she amends.

Beneath the Tivoli chandeliers, a dozen tailors and seamstresses were attaching tulle ruffles, hand-beading gowns and stitching roping to make a horse's mane on Tuesday afternoon. Ms. Granata also showed us how they had combined mopheads to make a shaggy English sheep dog.

A ring of rolling clothing racks held costumes in varying stages of completion. There was an immediate impression of elegance conveyed through luxurious fabrics,

Staff Photo by Angela Lewis

Marian Heintz, left, and Carol Dill work on costumes at the Tivoli Tuesday afternoon. The national tour of the production begins Friday.

elaborate trims and glitter of faux gemstones.

Ms. Granata's attention to detail was astounding -- especially considering that much of the smaller trimwork won't even be visible to the majority of the audience.

No one working in the "costume lobby" appeared stressed by the Friday deadline. Ms. Granata credited that calm to the assistance of local residents who have been helping wardrobers sew since last weekend.

"This is very unusual to have help like this," she said. "These Chattanooga women have been unbelievable." According to Kathy Allison, dean of fine arts at Center for Creative Arts, the crew is from the International Alliance of Theatrical Stage Employees, Local 140.

In addition to Ms. Allison, the added staff includes Leia Barker, Mary Coleman, Carol Dill, Sarah Eldredge, Randy Forester, Susan Gilbreath, Marian Heintz, Apryl Hughes, Tammy Ingram, Kay Jennings, Jessie Knowles, Kathie Majors, Trudi Patterson, Brenda Schwab and Jessie Wilson.

"The opportunity to work with the rich fabrics and have a designer is just phenomenal," said Ms. Allison as she ironed a length of satin material.

Ms. Allison said the crew has worked with three other national tours that launched from the Tivoli, "but they pale in comparison to the enormity of this job."

"We've been working between nine to 12 hours a day since I started Saturday. It's the most fun I've had," said Mr. Forester, who volunteers in costuming for Chattanooga Little Theatre and Encore Theatre.

Staff Photo by Angela Lewis

Tammy Ingram, right, and Jessie Knowles paint shoes that will be worn by Dr. Doolittle performers. The national tour of the production begins at the Tivoli on Friday.

"This is one of the most fantastic projects we've done," said Carol Dill. "Not only is there Tommy Tune starring in the show, but the costumes are the best of the best. I did a hat Friday that took seven hours."

Ms. Dill said Mr. Tune frequently comes into the lobby to see how work is progressing, stops to talk with them and compliment their work.

"He's very nice, very personable," she said.

According to Becky Braddock, IATSE steward, the wardrobe crew is just one area in which Chattanoogans are behind the scenes.

"We have 14 electricians, 16 carpenters, four in props, four in sound, two in hair, two runners and two transporters, who transport things to Memorial Auditorium where the musicians are rehearsing," Ms. Braddock listed. She said not all will remain through Saturday night's production, about 35 will be retained to supplement the show's traveling crew.

Ms. Braddock said that although the musical ends Saturday, they'll work straight through into Sunday night helping break down and load the show, then restoring the house in preparation for next week's events

that's another one to check off the list

Recently I made a doll for my friend Miranda, and at the time it was a just because we're friends doll, but I when I learned it was her birthday, well it turned into a birthday present. I've never considered myself very good at anything artistic, but something changed in the process of making this doll. I couldn't find a doll pattern that I liked, but I did have a bear pattern that I found at a used book store and with some modification, turned it into a very passible doll. I modified a pattern. Me. The person who can't draw two sides of a heart to match. Oh, and after I attached her head I realized she needed hair or something, so I made a bonnet for her. Yes, with no pattern, I made it up right on the spot. I was so thrilled that I actually was able to do something like this, that I have a renewed confidence in my ability to be artistic. To actually take a flat piece of material, a length of thread, and a few buttons and make something so beautiful is something I always wanted to do. I never thought I would be comfortable enough with a sewing machine to do any more than a straight line on a scrap piece of material. So, now I can check that off my accomplishment list. Yes, it may not be a legit accomplishment for some people, or even on their list, but for me being in a family that is very craft oriented, it was huge. I only wish my Nana could see how far I've come.

So anyway here's some pictures of Miranda's birthday doll:


the back of her head showing the very stylish bonnet

words

geez, it's been so long since I posted here I feel embarrassed to even give an update.
I just finished doing "Our Town" at TVT on Sunday, with an encore performance for the highschool this very morning. It was really the easiest play I've done so far, and I think that it has a lot to do with the director. He's one of those no-nonsense people, and in truth I was actually kind of afraid of him, well, at least I didn't want to upset him. Now it's over and it's back to the task of finding a job, which is in reality a never-ending task it turns out.

This is not where I wanted to be at this point in my life, and every time I turn around it seems like I'm screwing it up even more. I know I need to turn everything over to God, and just let him guide me. I feel like I've dug myself so deep into the mire that he can never lift me out, and the mud (sin) is holding me tight and sucks me back down when I try to break free. I hate that feeling. Sorry I didn't have a more upbeat post. Sometimes you just gotta let the words come out.

how weird is this?

I was looking at post secret to day and ran across this secret:


Why is this one different from the others? Because we have every piece of wrapping paper that is under that tree, exactly. The first thing I did was call my sister and ask her if she had mailed in a secret. She said no, she thought it might be me. The hand writing is neither of ours, but it is just really freaky that somebody out there has the exact same combination of Christmas paper as me. If it wasn't for the white wall behind the tree, it could seriously be my house. Even the carpet is the same. wooooooo spoooooky!

You can find the whole post here but it only goes from Sunday to Sunday, so it will change next week:
http://postsecret.blogspot.com/

Saturday Six

1. How many Christmas Cards did you receive from people you hadn't sent cards to, after the "mailing deadline?" Did you send a card anyway? 4, nope if you didn't get one by now, you'll have to wait until next year

2. At this point, do you weigh more or less than you did on January 1, 2006? Is that a good thing or a bad thing? more, baaaaaad thing

3. When the clock strikes Midnight on New Year's, will you be at home, at a party, or somewhere else? probaly at home, but maybe at a party

4. Take the quiz: What's your holiday stress level?

Your Holiday Stress Level is Moderate

The holidays sometimes stress you out, but mostly because they wear you down. Take it easy! You can have a fun holiday without running yourself ragged.

What's Your Holiday Stress Level?

5. Have you ever been the designated driver at a party or outing with your friends? yes, for a friend's birthday

6. Have you ever taken the keys and driven home a friend that you felt was too drunk to drive? If not, do you think you would attempt to if that situation ever arose? no, but I have followed someone who was taking a drunk person home; yes, I would most definately drive any of my friends home if they were drunk

blah....

as christmas fast approaches I find myself sinking into a place that feels really weird. The more I hear about Christmas, the more I want to run the other way. I am despising all things jolly, and just turning away like a broken animal when someone mentions trees or presents or dinners. I don't understand why, when I should be celebrating the birth of my Savior, all I can do is throw the covers over my head and wish it would go away. I gotta do something about it, but then my bed would get lonely without me in it.

i'm excited

Don't you just love my new layout?!!! It is so awesome! I wanted to go for a winter/Christmas theme, but then I found this and it is just so much better than anything I've found. so woo, that's all.

just a few names you can call me

I got this from Myspace, but I thought it was funny so I'm sharing it here............

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet & current street name)
Duchess Jackson

2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (fav icecream flavor, favorite cookie)
Chunky Monkey Shortbread

3. YOUR "FLY Guy/Girl" NAME: (first initial of first name, last three letters of your last name)
L-Ker

4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal)
Blue Kitty

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born)
Michele Burbank

6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first)
Barle

7. SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite drink put "The")
The Pink Pepsi

8. NASCAR NAME: (the first names of your grandfathers)
Asa ( I only know my maternal grandfathers name)

9. STRIPPER NAME: (the name of your favorite perfume, cologne, favorite candy)
Peony Peeps

10. WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother & father's middle name):
Elaine Franklin

wow it's been a while

Happy late Thanksgiving. I am so addicted to MySpace it's not even funny. So while I'm checking for comments and messages 10 times a day, I've ignored my original blog that I grew so fond of in the beginning. I feel guilty for not updating more, yet I have nothing to update. Basically I stay at home because I have no job, I never go anywhere because I have no money, and that makes me not want to do anything because I feel crappy. So before I get a lecture on getting out and trying, let me just say that I have been looking for a job, almost every day. It seems that nowadays you can't just go to a place and say I want to apply for a job, no no. You have to apply online, but your application doesn't go to that particular business, it goes to the corporate offices where they decide whether or not you're qualified. So you can't call the place to check on the status of the application because they have no clue what the actual status is.
I don't need people telling me how I'm not trying hard enough, I hear it every day. I don't want your opinion on how I'm being too picky, or how I'm not choosing the right places to apply. I don't want criticism disguised as sarcastic positive messages, but I will accept support, prayers, and other positive words, because I am almost at the end of my rope and it's quickly fraying on the end.

ladybugs!!!!

It seems we're being invaded by ladybugs. I mean they are everywhere you look. I don't personally have any at my house, but I've seen them at other people's houses that I know. So I decided to change my blog to pay homage to the ladybugs. I've been wanting to change for a while now, but I've just been too lazy to do it.

On a stranger note, we've been going through cat food like crazy, and wondering why the kittens are eating so much. Oh, because we have 3 kittens now. One just kinda showed up. A stray. That we swear we're not keeping. We named her Lola. Yeah.
So, the food was disappearing super fast, and the cups that we were using in the food bag kept getting broken. Tonight we found out why. Lost had just ended (it was great, by the way), and about 5 seconds later I hear mama yelling at me from the kitchen to come and look at something. She goes I know why the cat food is going so fast, look outside on the table and tell me what you see. I looked. I said I didn't see anything. Mama says, don't you see that POSSUM sitting on the table? A freakin' possum!!! I have never been that close to a live possum before. It was kinda scary. So great, now we have to find a way to get rid of it. I can't wait.

posting is no fun anymore

I don't post much on here anymore I guess because I have a MySpace account and well, I'm just not doing much of anything right now. It's hard to get motivated these days to do anything that requires energy. So, I'll still try to get on here when I can, but check out my myspace page if you wanna. You don't hafta.

I gotta stop taking quizzes

Your Element Is Air

You dislike conflict, and you've been able to rise above the angst of the world. And when things don't go your way, you know they'll blow over quickly. Easygoing, you tend to find joy from the simple things in life. You roll with the punches, and as a result, your life is light and cheerful. You find it easy to adapt to most situations, and you're an open person. With you, what you see is what you get... and people love that!

What's Your Element?

who knew I was such a hick?

Your Hillbilly Name Is...

Molly Sue Tractor

Hillbilly Name Generator

Random commercials I've seen

I was watching tv the other day and a Dominoe's pizza commercial came on advertising their new brownie bites. So I was totally surprised that the delivery guy was Brighton from The Nanny. All I could think was boy he has been reduced to pizza commercials. I don't know why it shocked me so much, but it did, okay?!

Anyways, then I saw one for Dairy Queen, where there's a newswoman that comes in with "the new mint moo-latte" and then the guy takes it away so she says the first story is that he wears a hair weave and then rips his hair off. That is hilarious!

there's another one, but I can't think what it is right now. Hmmm...oh well