Hola, Speia readers! This is her sister, and I'm just writing up a lil postie to let you know that she left this morning, having to be in Dayton at 4:00 a.m. She was not happy about that, believe you me. Anyway, she will be calling me from time to time, letting me know what's going on so that I may relay the messages on to you all. If you pray, please keep her in your prayers - if not, keep her in your thoughts. I worry about her too much, I suppose. :)

Today I've realized quite a few things. First, I've been basing the success of this blog by the comments, or lack thereof. I read other people's blogs and they have like 50 comments or something like that,and I get really discouraged because I have ZERO! But then I look at my stats and I'm doing pretty darn good. I realized that I read these blogs but I never leave comments, so just because no one is commenting doesn't mean they're not reading. It does make me feel good though when I see a comment, until I discover that it's some stupid spam ad for beauty products or porn or garbage like that. My advice to myself-it takes two to make a connection.

Second, I rely too heavily on people. I seem to meet people and then attach myself to them thinking that we have some special bond and that they're gonna drop everything and help me when I ask them. In reality, I don't really know them, they don't really know me so why should they even acknowledge me, let alone stop what they're doing to help me.

I remember in college when I was first introduced to chat rooms there was this one guy I used to talk to all the time. He was fairly popular around the chat rooms that I visited, so I felt like I had a connection with him. One day I was in the school library with one of my friends chatting away when these two hoodlums came up to where the computers were and started bugging us online. They would interrupt our chats and would say really crude and derrogatory things to us, we told the librarian but she couldn't do anything abou it. Later, on another day when I was talking with this guy I told him what had happened and said I wished he would have been there to stop these guys. After that he never would talk to me and had this other girl tell me to stop talking to him, which I thought was a bit much but whatever. I was totally devastated because I didn't even know where this guy was from and I knew he couldn't have done anything about it but here he was treating me like a stalker, which I'm not, btw.

Anyway, so now I find myself trying to make connections with people based on their blogs that I read, when in reality I don't know them from Adam. I'm not a freaky stalker-type person I swear. I'm just needy.

OK, so that was only two things, but very important things. I had a third one but something freaky happened and I lost it, but I think I just needed to vent on that one and it's not important now. But if you must know I'll give you the microwave version. I had a friend, he ditched me for his fiance, and now even though we say we're friends it won't be anything more than emails and eventually nothing.

Happy?

Am I ready?

I've been trying to avoid writing simply because I don't know what to say. I'm finally getting to leave Wednesday for Louisiana to a town called Sulphur, and I'm excited but concerned about my lack of money situation. Not having a job just sucks a big fat one when you have bills. I wish I had never gotten any credit cards, and the sad part is only one of them is a major card! The rest are like department store cards that I put way too much money on for stupid things I don't even need. Play the violins for me, I'm a little whiney tonight. But hey, I'm better! I actually ate real food last night and again tonight. Mashed potatoes though they may be, at least it's not popsicles. I'll miss my popsicles. The yummy, banana-ey goodness that they are and ever will be, frozen forever in time until someone takes one out of the freezer to enjoy. Yum.

Ok, so I don't think they've restored power to Sulphur yet, so I don't know how often I'll get to post, hopefully at least once a week. I'm thinking about using my sister as a liason to the blog. My plan is to call her on the cell, relay my thoughts while she types it on here. I think it will work. Now I just have to tell her. hee hee.

New Look

I was trying to put up a new template here but I couldn't get the one I wanted so I just got really frustrated and went with one from blogger. But I like pink so I guess this is ok. I had everything working last night but I checked it today and all I get is a white screen. GRRRRRRRRRRR.

I've been sick since last Thursday so I haven't had much energy to update or anything. To summarize, I went to the Dr. Friday because every time I tried to swallow food or drink my chest hurt horribly, had a high (103) fever and ended up in the ER Saturday, told I had bronchitis, went back to the Dr. Tuesday for him to tell me I have a totally different thing wrong and gave me more meds.

So I haven't eaten anything solid since friday. Been livin' on yogurt and banana popsicles. My jeans fit better. That's about the only thing good that's come of this.

So as it turns out, I did get to watch the season premier of "Lost" because I'm still at home and still waiting for the word from *somebody* that it's ok to head south. I did get an email asking for volunteers to clean out mud so I'll have to get in contact with my "lead person" and see when we can leave. Woo!

I have the need to tell this story...so the other day I went to Sonic with my sister and ordered a bacon cheese burger with NO mayonaise. I hate mayo. Well, except in potato and macaroni salad, but you don't really know it's there. Back to the story. When the guy who took my order repeated it back to me, he said no mayo. When the girl brought it out to me she said no mayo. When I opened it up, what do you think was on the freakin bread? MAYO!!!!! Oh my goodness, what is so hard about just listening? That really annoys me that people who are paid to listen to details don't actually take the time to do it. *This is my vent session so just don't get all fired up now.*

We were sitting there thinking of ways to retaliate which included me going up to the window and smacking the bread up against it and yelling "I said no mayo!" which then turned into me writing with the greasy nasty bun "no mayo" across the window. Of course I didn't do any of that. I just wiped the nasty stuff off into the bag along with my lettuce and sat there whining whilst I ate my sandwich. Because that's what I do. I don't have the guts to actually tell someone they messed up. Well, someone I don't know. hehehe

It wasn't even that good.

still waiting

I got my tetanus shot today! For free!!!!! I was going to go to the doctor's office, but when I found out how much the office visit cost plus what the shot was going to cost, I called the health department. It was waaaay cheaper to go there so off I went and when I got there and told them I was going to be a relief worker, they said "no charge". So a big fat thank you to the Rhea County health department.

I'm still waiting for the word that we're good to go, so I've had lots of time to think about why I'm doing this, what I'm going to miss, and how much this means to me.

I'm going to Louisiana because Jesus has called us to go into the world, teaching God's word and helping those who need it. I can't think of any better chance than this to show the love of Jesus to people who have lost everything.

As the new fall season of TV begins I realize that I'm going to miss the second season of Lost! waaahh. I realized this when I saw a preview for it the other day. I'm going to rely heavily on my mumsy to record it for me. I'm also going to miss sleep. I'm a lazy butt who likes to sleep late, and fortunately all my previous jobs have allowed me to do exactly that. But I'm thinkin' that down there, time will be absent and I'll sleep when I can get a chance.

I also paid off my car today. I owed less than $1000 so I figured if I paid it off, that would be one less payment to worry about. Instead, I get to pay on my card for 500 years. But I own my car now! I told my sister that now the engine will probably fall out or something like that, just so it could be spiteful and laugh in my face.

Not much else going on. I'm very boring when I don't have a job. Sorry.

again?

While I wait to hear from the disaster relief team I'm helping out at the daycare where I used to work. But not today. Today I'm home with a swollen and bruised ankle because I've hurt it yet again. I was at the daycare yesterday trying to get this one little girl to stop crying and I went over to her mat (it was nap time) and picked up her blanket so I could move her to another area. Now this particular daycare is run out of a very old home with hard wood floors. I had the blanket in my hands, tripped over a chair, stepped on the blanket and slid across the floor landing with my right foot underneath me. Oh, the pain! So immediately there was a knot on the top of my foot and it felt like someone shot fire right into my ankle. So here I am, with my foot propped up and pain meds coarsing through my system. yay pain meds!

I thought I would just share that with you, sos that I could get some sympathy. I would really like to figure out how to get my comments working but I'm not at all proficient with html coding. If anybody would like to tell me how (Jenn-if your reading :D) I would really appreciate it. My email is on the left side there.

So I leave you wtih this parting shot taken Labor Day whilst playing dominoes.

my training is complete!

So today I woke up at 5:30 and drove for 2 hours for the disaster relief training so I can go down to Louisiana as soon as possible. It was a long day.
I got to hear all about how many people their feeding units can feed in a day and what to bring with me. Then after lunch I learned how to shingle a roof. Not really but I have written directions and I have a card that says I'm qualified to help repair a roof in the event of a disaster.

I read today's Waiter Rant post and I feel so disheartened because up until a couple of years ago I was just concerned with my own little network of people and my secure little life. I forget that there are people who don't believe in God and actually hate God and Jesus. I never really sat down and thought about the world outside of Rhea County, but now the carefully built walls of my safe world are being torn down chunks at a time by all the heartbreak, disaster, betrayal and general hatred that is being thrown at me. I was so thrilled to finally know that God's plans for me were being revealed, and I was on such a high at the thought of finally getting to do something for Him in His name and for His glory that I thought how could anything go wrong? Now Satan's trying to rip my heart out with all this sadness because he knows I'm in God's hands and he can't get to me. Satan's lies of my unworthiness and uselessness are horrible and heartbreaking. I can feel my heart twisting in my chest with the struggle that's going on inside.

Wow, I feel tons better now. This is not the direction I was going but I guess God had other plans.



"11) For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. 12) Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. 13) And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. 14) I will be found by you, says the Lord, and I will bring you back from your captivity..."

Jeremiah 29:11-14

just an update

Sorry it's been a week since my last post. I just haven't done anything since "the incident". That being my getting fired based on the lies of others. I was actually trying to wait until Saturday after the training and then I would have something exciting to tell. I've been going through some stuff in my closet, and found some awesome vintage clothes that I forgot I had. I'll try to get some pictures up of the cooler ones soon.

I've been reading some different blogs and it seem slike everyone feels the need to re-tell public information that's already been told 10 million times. I'm sorry, but unless you have information that is new or some personal experience about the hurricane tragedy,(like this site) why bother telling what everybody already knows anyway? Just my little venting session. It's over now.

I got an email from my friend Mark who lives in Louisiana telling me he was ok and I'm so glad to hear that. He sent this link of some pictures taken of the aftermath of Katrina. It's just so sad.

Well, going to bed early since I have to get up at *5:30* tomorrow. Yes, ma'am, you heard me. I haven't even hit my REM cycle at that time. But hey, I get to see the sunrise. That's a plus. Yeah, yeah, stick to that.

Today I got the call I thought I would have to wait a long time for. Next Saturday I'll be going to a town more than 2 hours away to take the disaster reief course! Woo hoo! And then I will be clear to go where ever they need me most. I honestly thought I would be waitng 2 weeks or more, but when the phone rang and it was Mr. Pickle (that's his name, I swear) telling me he got me into a FULL training class, it was just very exciting. So by Tuesday after next, possibly Wednesday, I'll be heading south. Woo. I can hardly wait!

Helping the hopeless

Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I wanted to make sure I had everything together and all my information correct. In my last post I said that God was preparing me for something big, right? So Wednesday I found out what that big thing was. I was praying on my way to church Wed. night and telling God that I really wanted to go down to Louisiana or Miss. and help the victims of Katrina, and asking for a sure sign and some comfirmation that it was what He wanted me to do. Imagine my shock and excitement when I got to church and find out that one of my friends is going down there! I immediately knew for sure that it was what God wanted and I haven't stopped thinking about it since. This is what He was preparing me for and I am so pysched!

Tonight I talked to the man from the TN Baptist Association who is putting it all together and he said that they keep changing the destination because there's so much chaos and confusion going on down there, and they don't want anyone to go that hasn't had disaster training, but he's calling people all over trying to find a class that will take us so we can leave as soon as possible because there's not that many volunteers helping and the people that are there have been working literally around the clock. He also said that there was more interest in volunteering for this disaster than there had been for Ivan last year, and he was glad that so many people wanted to help, but the problem is getting the training and finding someone to teach it.

So all I can do now is wait. Wait for training, wait for another group to go down there, and wait for God to move things along. At least I know I'm going and for a good reason, I just don't know when.

free at last

Well, it seems that I'm not up to standards with the requirements of my job, so my services are no longer needed at the hospital. I can't say it was a surprise. I actually said on Sunday that I may not have a job much longer. I'm actually somewhat relieved, I mean when I was walking out to my car it was like this big wieght just lifted out of my body. Now I know that whatever God has in store for me, it's right around the corner and He's preparing me to accept it without reservations. I'm excited, and I'm not really worried about finding another job. I trust God with everything I am, and He promises that He won't do anything to harm me.
I'm ready. Bring it on.

I just noticed that my comments and titles of the posts are gone. I'll have to figure this out later. So I guess if you want to leave a comment, well you just can't. So there.

It's so pretty!

I finally got a new template and I'm very pleased with it! I got the set at Blogfrocks, and I've had it for a while, but I could never get anything to work with the way they explained it using Angelfire. But now that they've updated the instructions and suggested new webhosting places, woo baby, I'm rocking with the cherries! I like cherries. Cherries are fun. Yay cherries.

Well, Friday and Saturday I worked lights for "Lying In State". You remember, the play that I got payed to work on. Yes, after rental fee, cleaning fee, and other various fees, we each got a whole 76 dollars and some cents. But why am I complaining, that's better than doing it for nothing. It was in a really cool refurbished movie theater called the Palace that was built a long time ago. I was gonna say the thirties, but I'm not sure. Here, lookie.


And here's me at the light board. I really don't like this picture because I'm all hunched over, and my boobs look like they're attached to my legs. The person that took the picture isn't very camera savvy. Eh, well.


Vikki was so overcome with emotion over the beautimous appearance of the theater that she had to give the otter mascot a smooch!


So, I guess everyone is commenting on hurricane Katrina, but I'm gonna choose not to simply because I really don't have anything relevant to add to the already infinite number of updates and comments and such. Except to say that they called for flash floods tonight and tomorrow in our county and surrounding areas, and this affects me because I'm in the flood zone. My house is over 100 years old, and it has never had the first drop of flood water in it, so I'm very fortunate. The theater also happens to be in the flood zone and last September when it flooded, there was 3 feet of water all through the building. They had just built a new stage too, so it was pretty devastating. They lost everything including props, costumes, cabinets, lights, everything. When the water was gone, there was at least 3 inches of mud covering everything that was under water. Not just mud, but stinky, gag a maggot, black and brown and green, sewage laced mud. Yummy.
Well, now that I've squelched your appetite, I think I'll reek havoc somewhere else.
Have a good night.

CHERRIES!!!

I'm just full of excitement this week. Tonight we went over to my aunt and uncle's lake house to have supper. My uncle's dad built a resort there, and we used to have so much fun every summer swimming there. But now it's gone and the land has been divided up and sold to rich northerners so they can bring their expensive boats here and build expensive summer houses. Ah, but I sound bitter that my childhood can be sold so easily.

Anyway, my uncle told me that Grandfather(that's what we called his dad) had bought some little boats for the resort and had paid $125 for each one and that he had one that he wanted to take out on the lake. He had just bought a new (used) motor and he wanted to try it out. So we went down to the dock (remember that I have a sprained ankle) and after much struggling since the clamp was not wide enough, got the motor on the back of the boat. We got in, started it up and got half a mile away from the dock when my uncle says "uh-oh" and then the motor dies and smoke starts pouring out of it. So he decides that it has something to do with the water pump and I should call my aunt since I have my cell phone with me. I do and she doesn't answer. I then call my mother's cell and she doesn't answer either.

Now I'm thinking I'm gonna have to jump out of the boat and swim to shore dragging the boat behind me, but my uncle sees that we're in front of his friends house so he starts paddling with the seat cushion he had thrown in there before we left. So I pick up mine and do the same. We reach the dock, tie up the boat and then have to walk back to the house, uphill. And I'm doing this with a sprained ankle.

We then get to the house and have to explain what happened, take the pontoon boat back to get the little boat, and then go back to the house. This all took place in under 30 minutes, but it seemed much longer, especially when I was hanging over the side of the boat paddling with a boat cushion.

Yep, me and my crazy exciting life. What's gonna happen next?

It's not broken

Well, I ended up going to the ER Sunday morning, waiting 1 hour for the doctor to tell me I need an xray and I'll probably be on crutches for 2 days, another 45 minutes for someone from radiology to come a get me, then another 45 minutes for the nurse to come in, put a brace on my ankle, hand me a perscription for some pain killers, tell me it's not broken and then send me home with no explanation of what's wrong with my ankle or anything. I very much dislike it when people, especially doctors, think that because they are professionals they don't have to explain what they're doing. I'm sorry, but I want to know what's going on with my body and why it hurts and what I can do to fix it.

Anyway, I can't take the medicine because it makes me sick, so I've just been taking Tylenol quick release, and they do the job just as well. And hey, I didn't have to go to work today, because well, I work in a very small file room with not much space to maneuver around in crutches, and I'm clumsy to begin with.

So now I just have to hobble around until I'm able to walk without pain, or until I go insane from not being able to do anything, whichever comes first.

I've had a busy day

Today was a very eventful day for me, considering that Saturdays are usually quiet. First, my neighbor was having a yard sale and was selling two chifferobes that belonged to the woman who owned the house while I was growing up. Miss Rhoda was her name and she was a missionary/teacher in Japan and Germany for many of my childhood years. When she was put in a nursing home her family had an estate sale and I really wanted those two pieces, but there was no way I could afford the price they had on them, and then they ended up being sold with the house. But today, they are mine!!! Well, one is mine and the other is my sister's. We decided to share. Somebody decided to put a smiley face on one of them with some kind of glue or something, and even if we take it off, the finish will come off with it so we still have a smiley face. So here are some pictures of them for your viewing pleasure.
sorry about the flash on this first one

here's the smiley face~


Next, at about 2 my sister decided that we were going swimming at the creek. So here we go, me, my sister, her husband, and his sister and her husband. The creek is really high right now because of all the rain, and I knew there was nowhere to go without getting into the current, but we found a place that had some good raipds and a shallow part to recover in. We started going down the rapids sans inner-tube and we were having so much fun. We were there for 2 1/2 hours and had gone several times, and my butt was feeling the pain of every rock I hit. Anyway, I decided to go once more, and everything waws cool until my leg turned under itself and my foot hit a rock. I felt it snap and then excruciating pain, and all I could think was I broke my stupid foot. My brother-in-law was standing downstream to catch me and as soon as I got to him I was screaming "I broke my ankle!" but we were still fighting the current so we both had to swim to the bank with me trying to stay conscious and when we finally made it to the bank, I just stood there braced against a rock saying "Oh God" not as a cuss word ya know just crying out to him to help me. So finally my sister and brother-in-law helped me out of the water and up the bank (which was not easy because there are lots of rocks)and then I crawled, yes crawled, over the roots that were between me and the grass, and then I got carried to the car piggy-back style. I desperately wanted to go to the hospital but got talked out of it, and now it's the tiniest smidgeon better, but I still can't walk or put any weight on it, and it just constantly aches, but I will definately go tomorrow if it's still swollen bad. So here's a loverly picture of how I reduced swelling.



yes, that would be broccoli florets on my ankle.

And I got a sunburn. My day is complete.

random picture of the day

Dollywood iced tea~~yummy

yes I know it's been a while. So with some prodding from a certain person who shall remain nameless, I bring you....the updated blog. Please, hold your applause while I get my thoughts together. Well, Here are the only two photos I took of the 127 yard sale, the first one is the exit we took and waited so long on to get to Jamestown (which we never got to)

and then this one I just thought was funny



I had another one with a big pink monkey sitting on a motorcycle, but somehow it got deleted.

I just finished the newest Harry Potter book last night, and it was good. I knew what was going to happen at the end because I was told, and I figured out how it was going to happen, so what should have been shocking was well, not. What was more interesting to me was what was revealed in the last chapter, but I can't say because I can't spoil it. Even though everyone who reads this has probably already read the book or doesn't care about Harry. You should. He's so all alone now.

Sorry about the randomness, but really there's not much going on. I'm going to be busy the next 2 weekends doing concessions for the next play at the theater. "Sleuth" starring...well does it really matter? It only has 2 men in the cast, so that gives me a break until Christmas when I'll be on stage once again to play Sister Robert Anne in "Nuncrackers" which I can hardly wait for. Also I guess I'll be doing lights for a revival of "Lying In State" in Crossville for two shows only...and getting paid for it. *little happy Snoopy dance*

OK, well I think I'll just dance myself over to Flikr (or however you spell it) and start a photo blog. Details later.

racin' around

Well it's been a while since I updated so here's what's going on. Well, the phone just rang in the middle of my thought process and it was the owner of the daycare where I used to work. It seems I'll be making an appearance there tomorrow morning because all of her help is either sick or out of state. Grrr...I was gonna sleep tomorrow but hey I can't turn down money, and I'm just such a nice person that she knew she could count on me.

So...Saturday was the Amazing Race at church with my youth group, and yes it was a knock off of the TV show. We had to figure out the clues though instead of just saying here go to this place, but it was so exciting. I always get nervous in competitions because I'm afraid I'll mess up horribly and be embarrassed and my team members will blame me for losing. But as it turns out, I was the driver of the winning team! I think I scared the two kids that were with me because I went a tad over the speed limit through town and around curves. Now you have to remember that I live in a two red light town where the biggest excitement is when something catches on fire and the juiciest gossip is who got arrested for making meth this week. That's really sad now that I see it written down, but that's another post entirely. Anyway, I was speeding through town and there were cops at every food place we passed, and I thought we were in second place the whole time, but we were ten minutes ahead of everybody. Yeah baby!

Also this weekend was the 127 yard sale, which is the longest yard sale each year, and it just happens to pass through Crossville which is only a 30 minute drive from my house. So off we went to the insanity that turned out to be the yard sale. We decided to go to Rockwood and up the interstate since we knew that we would never get anywhere going up the mountain. When we got to our exit, it was so backed up that we sat there for like 20 minutes. We finally got on the actual road and ended up going to only one place where there was a whole bunch of tents set up together. I bought a little brass bell with stained glass cherries on top for a whole dollar, and then we decided it was too hot so we got back in the car and headed back through the massive traffic jam until we got to some people who were selling jellies and jams, and then my sister and mother bought two jars each. Personally, I think they shoud schedule it for the fall when the weather is cooler and not so humid, but I'm not in charge of that operation, thankfully. So now I'm off to sleep since I have to be at the daycare at 7 freakin' 30. I'm such a pushover, I can never say no.