Saturday Six

1. How many Christmas Cards did you receive from people you hadn't sent cards to, after the "mailing deadline?" Did you send a card anyway? 4, nope if you didn't get one by now, you'll have to wait until next year

2. At this point, do you weigh more or less than you did on January 1, 2006? Is that a good thing or a bad thing? more, baaaaaad thing

3. When the clock strikes Midnight on New Year's, will you be at home, at a party, or somewhere else? probaly at home, but maybe at a party

4. Take the quiz: What's your holiday stress level?

Your Holiday Stress Level is Moderate

The holidays sometimes stress you out, but mostly because they wear you down. Take it easy! You can have a fun holiday without running yourself ragged.

What's Your Holiday Stress Level?

5. Have you ever been the designated driver at a party or outing with your friends? yes, for a friend's birthday

6. Have you ever taken the keys and driven home a friend that you felt was too drunk to drive? If not, do you think you would attempt to if that situation ever arose? no, but I have followed someone who was taking a drunk person home; yes, I would most definately drive any of my friends home if they were drunk

blah....

as christmas fast approaches I find myself sinking into a place that feels really weird. The more I hear about Christmas, the more I want to run the other way. I am despising all things jolly, and just turning away like a broken animal when someone mentions trees or presents or dinners. I don't understand why, when I should be celebrating the birth of my Savior, all I can do is throw the covers over my head and wish it would go away. I gotta do something about it, but then my bed would get lonely without me in it.

i'm excited

Don't you just love my new layout?!!! It is so awesome! I wanted to go for a winter/Christmas theme, but then I found this and it is just so much better than anything I've found. so woo, that's all.

just a few names you can call me

I got this from Myspace, but I thought it was funny so I'm sharing it here............

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet & current street name)
Duchess Jackson

2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (fav icecream flavor, favorite cookie)
Chunky Monkey Shortbread

3. YOUR "FLY Guy/Girl" NAME: (first initial of first name, last three letters of your last name)
L-Ker

4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal)
Blue Kitty

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born)
Michele Burbank

6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first)
Barle

7. SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite drink put "The")
The Pink Pepsi

8. NASCAR NAME: (the first names of your grandfathers)
Asa ( I only know my maternal grandfathers name)

9. STRIPPER NAME: (the name of your favorite perfume, cologne, favorite candy)
Peony Peeps

10. WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother & father's middle name):
Elaine Franklin

wow it's been a while

Happy late Thanksgiving. I am so addicted to MySpace it's not even funny. So while I'm checking for comments and messages 10 times a day, I've ignored my original blog that I grew so fond of in the beginning. I feel guilty for not updating more, yet I have nothing to update. Basically I stay at home because I have no job, I never go anywhere because I have no money, and that makes me not want to do anything because I feel crappy. So before I get a lecture on getting out and trying, let me just say that I have been looking for a job, almost every day. It seems that nowadays you can't just go to a place and say I want to apply for a job, no no. You have to apply online, but your application doesn't go to that particular business, it goes to the corporate offices where they decide whether or not you're qualified. So you can't call the place to check on the status of the application because they have no clue what the actual status is.
I don't need people telling me how I'm not trying hard enough, I hear it every day. I don't want your opinion on how I'm being too picky, or how I'm not choosing the right places to apply. I don't want criticism disguised as sarcastic positive messages, but I will accept support, prayers, and other positive words, because I am almost at the end of my rope and it's quickly fraying on the end.

ladybugs!!!!

It seems we're being invaded by ladybugs. I mean they are everywhere you look. I don't personally have any at my house, but I've seen them at other people's houses that I know. So I decided to change my blog to pay homage to the ladybugs. I've been wanting to change for a while now, but I've just been too lazy to do it.

On a stranger note, we've been going through cat food like crazy, and wondering why the kittens are eating so much. Oh, because we have 3 kittens now. One just kinda showed up. A stray. That we swear we're not keeping. We named her Lola. Yeah.
So, the food was disappearing super fast, and the cups that we were using in the food bag kept getting broken. Tonight we found out why. Lost had just ended (it was great, by the way), and about 5 seconds later I hear mama yelling at me from the kitchen to come and look at something. She goes I know why the cat food is going so fast, look outside on the table and tell me what you see. I looked. I said I didn't see anything. Mama says, don't you see that POSSUM sitting on the table? A freakin' possum!!! I have never been that close to a live possum before. It was kinda scary. So great, now we have to find a way to get rid of it. I can't wait.

posting is no fun anymore

I don't post much on here anymore I guess because I have a MySpace account and well, I'm just not doing much of anything right now. It's hard to get motivated these days to do anything that requires energy. So, I'll still try to get on here when I can, but check out my myspace page if you wanna. You don't hafta.

I gotta stop taking quizzes

Your Element Is Air

You dislike conflict, and you've been able to rise above the angst of the world. And when things don't go your way, you know they'll blow over quickly. Easygoing, you tend to find joy from the simple things in life. You roll with the punches, and as a result, your life is light and cheerful. You find it easy to adapt to most situations, and you're an open person. With you, what you see is what you get... and people love that!

What's Your Element?

who knew I was such a hick?

Your Hillbilly Name Is...

Molly Sue Tractor

Hillbilly Name Generator

Random commercials I've seen

I was watching tv the other day and a Dominoe's pizza commercial came on advertising their new brownie bites. So I was totally surprised that the delivery guy was Brighton from The Nanny. All I could think was boy he has been reduced to pizza commercials. I don't know why it shocked me so much, but it did, okay?!

Anyways, then I saw one for Dairy Queen, where there's a newswoman that comes in with "the new mint moo-latte" and then the guy takes it away so she says the first story is that he wears a hair weave and then rips his hair off. That is hilarious!

there's another one, but I can't think what it is right now. Hmmm...oh well

he was supposed to be there

Everyone is having memorials about 9/11 and I wanted to post this yesterday but ended up letting the day slip by.

You will never forget where you were or what you were doing that day when you heard that a plane had hit the towers. I was driving to work when it came over the radio, and at the time I just thought it was a random accident, a stray plane that had gone off-course. When they told me it was an attack on the U.S. I thought it was a joke, who would attack us? As they replayed the details over and over I thought, who can stand to listen to this all day long? I didn't realize how much it would change the way I look at life, or how close I came to losing a friend.

Mark was a musician who had been accepted to study with some of the best voice teachers in New York. He wasn't just any kind of musician, he was a male soprano. They are very rare I'm told, and his gift was far beyond what I had ever seen or heard. When he sang, his voice soared high into notes I can only dream about hitting, and it was almost like an angel singing. With his wife and two children staying in Tennessee, he moved to New York to pursue his dream of singing opera. I didn't stay in contact with him much during that time, but I kept him in my prayers and thought of him often.

Soon he wrote me an email saying he was driving down for a visit in August, and he wanted to make sure I was going to come and catch up while he was in town. I kept saying that I was going to come visit him, that we would go to Dollywood and watch for meteors at Clingman's Dome, but time got away from me, as it has a tendency to do. Soon it was time for him to go back to New York, and I hadn't once gone to visit him. I was a little disappointed, but didn't think much of it because we still had email.

Then September 11 happened and everything stopped. I didn't learned until months later that he was supposed to go back the week before; that if he had left when he was supposed to, he would have been inside the towers waiting to start his day and probably would not have made it out alive. He was supposed to be there that day.

He went back to finish his studies, but now lives in his home state of Louisiana. I'll never know how much courage it took for him to go back there and see what his fate might have been. I thank God for sparing his life every time I think of that day, and for a crappy rental car that wouldn't start. I know without a doubt that my God, my savior Jesus Christ, saved Mark's life that day for a reason, that everything that happened that day was for a reason. It may not seem fair or make any sense at all, but life's not fair now is it.
Everyone knows someone that was affected by the tragedy that happened that day. Everyone has a story. This is mine, actually Mark's, so thanks for listening.

she came back

Carla is home. Actually she came back that night, I've just been lazy and not posting. I went out around 12 to call her and she came running up on the porch meowing so I was relieved. Her claws were worn down and split and she had a cut on her lip, so I don't know what happened, but something obviously did. She's been staying close to us now every time we go out and work in the yard. woo!

I came home from church tonight to find out my kitty Carla is missing. She was here this morning, and now she's gone. It was too dark to look when I got home, but I'll be out all day tomorrow looking for her. I don't know what could have happened, but connie is going bananas because she has no one to play with. I really hope she's not gone for good, that would be a sad, sad day.

So tonight I'm sad, annoyed (for other reasons), and just fed up with everything. I just want to run far far away.

Glad news , sad news

My momsy works at Raccoon Mountain as a "tour guide" (they don't really give tours) but anyway, they have two randomly chosen people work together, and when she told me who she worked with yesterday, well it was interesting. Anyone who's ever watched Saved By the Bell knows who Mr. Belding is. Well my mama worked with his dad yesterday. That's right folks, my mama knows Mr. Belding's (oh ok, Dennis Haskins) dad.

And hey, I got a myspace account, so now I can be connected with all the people I see almost every day anyway. hehe. ok ok here's the link www.myspace.com/leiaspeia

That was the glad news.

Sad news is one of my friends is very sick and I don't know what to do about visiting him. He has Cystic Fibrosis, and the life expectancy is 30 or so, and he just turned 31 in July. I heard tonight that he's been on a home IV and his brother (who also has CF) is also pretty bad. I'm sick with worry and sadness because the last time we spoke I sorta told him that I wanted to be more than friends and he never called me back, so I don't know where I stand. I don't want him to die and never know what he really thought about the way things are. So now my heart is breaking at the thought of him leaving me, when I never really had him in the first place. It seems like the last 6 years we have been running into each other, spending one or two weeks hanging out, then I don't hear from him until a year has gone by and I bump into him again. This just sucks a big fat one because I don't know what to do. waaaahhh

Connie, Carla, and Kitty, Oh my!

I knew it!

Your Band Name is:

The Bionic Poodles

Band Name Generator

spandex and stuff

So, two things....First, I realized that I haven't followed up on the whole audition thing. Well, I haven't heard anything from them so I guess they don't want me. It's sad really but I'm probably better off not getting my stage dreams crushed.

Second, I went to see "Mamma Mia" today! It was so awesome and funny! I've decided that I need a spandex outfit like they were wearing, as I am going to be a super hero for Halloween this year. Yes, you heard right, ha ha let's move on. I knew the basic story, and I have the soundtrack, but just seeing it as a whole let me understand it more and now when I listen to my CD I can see the guys wearing scuba suits and flippers and dancing around like dorks. Yeah yeah yeah.

Just a question

When is the man of my dreams gonna walk in to wake me up?

Random life lessons

Always park as close as possible to a buggy return at Walmart. Thay way you don't look stupid wandering around trying to find one.

Just because it's on clearance doesn't mean you have to buy it.

Don't laugh with powdered doughnuts in your mouth.

Double D's do not look good in tops that criss-cross in front, no matter how expensive or fashionable they may seem.

Just because a movie is rated PG-13 does not mean it's not scary.

If it shows belly fat, spare everyone the pain and don't wear it, in fact just throw it away.

Don't eat Mexican food after you've had a stomach virus.

Thrift stores are the coolest places on earth.

Talent Agency?

Last night I drove and hour and fifteen minutes to Chattanooga to audition for a Christian theater group, so I was prepared to read cold from the script and maybe sing a song if called to do so, but when I got to the place it was a talent agency who had joined forces with the theater to recruit new talent for their upcoming season. Talk about pressure! There were 5 other "young people" there and compared to them I looked like Gigantron. Anyway, so the thear guy says ok, you've all been preparing something all week and now we're gonna hear it. Ok, I got the call on Tuesday, and this is Wednesday, so I don't think I had quite as much time as the others, but I faked it well. I got up there, sang my (acapella) song, and then the talent guy asked if I could read from a script if he gave me one. I said sure, so 10 minutes later I was back up there reading in what I hoped was a very southern accent, which apparently, was pretty good, at least that's what they said. Then the theater guy said "ok well we need to get head shots"...wait...what? I'm not ready, no wait, head shots? what? I got a big zit on my forehead! NO! But I got my picture taken anyway, which is not my favorite cup of tea, and he said ok now give me that intense look you had while you were reading, and I was like, I don't know what you're talking about, so he said just smile. OK. I went through all of this and it turns out it's only voluntary, we don't get paid, so I would have to drive an hour and a half to not get paid. And so now I'm hoping they won't call, but on the other hand I want them to call because then I'll know that I had a good audition and they actually want me. I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

Relentless weekend

This is two days late, I know, but this weekend I went to a dance workshop in Pigeon Forge that was so awesome. It was put together by a Christian dance and drama group called Relentless, and they go to different churches and do dances to Christian/Gospel music as a ministry and hold workshops like the one this weekend to teach kids these dances. I don't want to label these dances as interpretive, but that's what it's like, or at least the best way I know to describe it. It was me, two sisters, and a family with 3 kids that went, so there wasn't that many but it was still fun. So this was our youth group's chance to learn some dances to take back to the church, have some fun, and fellowship with other youth who already have their dance groups established. We've been trying to get a group together but have had little interest, but I think for the kids that went, we learned a lot and maybe with what we did learn there we can spark a little interest.

So anyway, Friday night we watched several different dance groups perform and had a time of worship with the church band. There was a group from Texas who just absolutely blew me away with their dedication and spirit-filled dances. There was also a group from Florida who call themselves DoMao, and they did a couple of awesome songs too. There was also a mime who did a Kirk Franklin song from the Rock Opera Hero.

Saturday was the actual workshop and I had decided that I wasn't going to learn any dances, just sit and watch, but the boy from the family that was with us wanted to do mime so his dad went with him and then one his sisters decided to go watch and wanted me to come with her so guess what I got to learn some mime. It was really not bad until they told us we had to get up in front of everyone and do our dance.

Basically, it was a time of worship, learning, and fellowship all wrapped up in a nifty little package. I realize as I'm reading back that I'm totally rambling and repeating myself, I can't seem to focus on one thing to get my thoughts straight so I'm going now. Bye-bye.

Daddy long legs on my head

So I was walking through the kitchen the other day and as I passed the fridge I looked up and saw this daddy long legs just sitting there happy as you please. How funny is that? There seems to be an abundance of them this year. I can pretty much guarantee that a shot like this won't happen again any time soon. I just happened to be in the right place at the right time.

a long but deep post

Ah, I thought highschool was going to be the toughest time of my life, but I was wrong! Sometimes I think it would be better to go back to highschool and refocus my thinking and care more about my future.

I'm cleaning houses for a living right now, and it seems my life is just in a big fat depressing rut. When I read blogs like my friend Tabitha's it makes me realize how far away from God I truly am. When I think I'm ok I get a big slap in the face reminding me how not ok I am and then that makes me feel ashamed for not doing what I was called to do and sad because I don't know how to get back on track. Conviction is harsh.

I've really been struggling lately with some issues like am I really saved and if I am why don't I feel any different. Now I'm not saying that I never accepted Jesus Christ into my life, because I did, I'm saying that maybe I was believing the wrong thing all these years. I knew that if you believe in God, believe that Jesus died for my sins and arose on the third day, and did not sin, then that was all you needed to get into heaven. Now I know that's not enough. You have to have a personal relationship with Jesus; and although I know this, I mean I truly know and believe this, I can't seem to do it. I can't discipline myself to read my Bible and spend time in prayer every day, and that scares me. We had a children's service one Sunday a while back and part of the speaker's sermon was a story of a preacher who was dying and he was on his bed screaming about the flames coming up around his legs and everyone in that hospital room knew what was happening. He was going to hell. A preacher, a man of God. That scared the crap out of me. If that happened to a preacher who knew the word of God inside and out and who probably led other people to God, then what's going to happen to me? I sure don't want to have a false belief and convince myself that what I'm doing is enough when it's never enough. You can never do enough for God, because he gave us the breath in our lungs and he can take it away in half a heartbeat.

So all this and more is going on in my head and heartache is filling me to overflow, when I found some comfort in a passage from a book I'm reading called "How to Talk About Jesus Without Freaking Out" by Jim and Karen Covell and Victorya Michaels Rogers that says there should be three parts to your testimony: Before Christ (B.C.), Meeting Christ (year zero), and After Christ (A.D.) OK the part that got me was this: "Year Zero is the time you met Christ and consciously chose to follow Him-the moment of your conversion." So I am saved, it's just that all the time since I accepted Christ has been wasted on who knows what kind of unimportant crap that at the time I thought was the most important thing in the world. I've been asleep for 24 years and am just now waking up to look back on how much I've missed. I can hardly bear the thought of how many chances I've missed to do God's work. I just realized that it's a shocker that I should find comfort in a book that's not the Bible, but yes folks I did, sometimes that happens.

I always think that I don't have a good testimony because I grew up in a Christian home, never did drugs or smoked, never got into trouble at school (ok there was that paddling in Kindergarten but that wasn't my fault, honestly! ok it might have been, I didn't like nap time), and was so shy that I cried at the drop of a hat. Truly, up until after college, you could not get me to talk in front of any type of crowd or to talk to people I didn't know. But because of God I am standing in front of kids making a complete and total idiot out of myself, singing and praising the God who gave me the courage to do it, and not caring who sees me because I know it's all for Him.

Wow, this is a really long post but I feel better getting it out. I've been moping around telling myself that nobody wants to hear my problems because they have their own, but that was Satan whispering in my ear and preying on my weakness. God gave me the strength tonight to break down that wall of self pity, and showed me that Jesus is my life and to find joy and comfort in Him.

PS
If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all. For real, I'm sensitive and I take well meaning but uninformed advice as snide comments against me. Just so ya know.

Trees and hard work

We planted some hostas and bushes Thursday and while we were diggin my kitties decided to explore the closest Dogwood tree. They went all the way to the tip of the skinniest limb and I swear I thought a couple of times I was gonna have smashed cats. Carla jumped out before I could get batteries in my camera, but Connie decided to take a nap in the crook of the limbs. I finally got Connie down by coaxing her to the tip of a limb and then grabbing the limb and pulling it down until I could reach her. For some reason I can't get my pictures to upload so I guess I'll just wait until later to post those. *sigh* oh well.

Connie and Carla

I have two new kitties!

Meet Connie:


And Carla:


Originally they were Stella and Daisy but my mother decided we should name them for the movie we all love so much. Connie and Carla. Go rent it today.

Xanga or not?

I've recently discovered that most of my friends have a Xanga account which sucks for me because I can't give a comment unless I have an account with them. So here's the big delimma for the day...should I switch to Xanga and be like the crowd, or be a rebel and stay where I am. I can't take the pressure! Just show me to the nearest ledge! I'm feeling dramatic and I need an outlet! Oh the humanity!

ok it's over...go back to your jobs.

Mother's Day conversation

We took our mumsy out to eat for that special day, and she had been sick the week before so she was still taking cold medicine. Here's the conversation we had while we waited for our food:

Anessa(my sister): So what did you guys do yesterday?
Mama: We watched Sarah Plain and Ugly.
Anessa: what?
Me: Taaall.
Mama: ok, Sarah Tall and Ugly.
Me: No! Plain and Tall!
Anessa: *laughing her butt off*
Mama: Well, whatever her name is, we watched it all day!

Ok, so it's not so funny written out like that, but it was darn funny at the time. We had a good time so neener.

nosin' for the camera

I took some pictures of the creek behind my house the other day and Keela and Chubby kept me company, so here are the results of a day at the creek.




 

Cornbread Festival

This weekend I went with my mother's Red Hat group to South Pittsburg, TN for the 10th annual Cornbread Festival. It was...interesting, and a little disappointing. There was a section set up where you could pay one price and get samples of all different kinds of cornbread, but I took one look at the line to get in and figured my waistline didn't need that much cornbread anyway! So here are some shots of festival wares and a one-man band that just defies description!

Update, update, who's got the update?

Not me I'll tell ya. My life is just one big boring blah right now. Looking for a job is depressing, while in the meantime trying to do odd jobs that people throw at you, hoping for enough money to pay at least one bill. I've become very good friends with the nanny named Fran, and also learned how to do numerous craft projects that I hope to one day try. And please, I don't need anybody to tell me to get out of the house and put myself out there for people to hire me, because trust me, I've heard it all a bazillion times before. When your family is only concerned about making money and retirement security, not if you're actually happy, it kinda makes you want to run far far away and never look back. So...any suggestions where to go?

life is hard

i have no excuses for not posting other than life got in the way. There's nothing to tell really, I quit the Dollar Store and now I'm helping my brother-in-law build boat docks for a local marina. After that I don't know what will happen. So that's it kiddies...short and boring. Maybe tomorrow there'll be more to tell.

just a little edit

I had to take off the last picture of Tuesday's post because it just made me really self conscious and uncomfortable. I don't know why. Call it low self esteem, call me crazy, all I know is I kept on thinking what if somebody got hold of that picture and spread it over the internet as child porn or something bad like that. I know I'm probably over-reacting, but that's the way I feel. Take it up with my agent. "These things do 'appen, but until these things stop 'appening, this thing does not 'appen! Where's my doggie bring my doggie bye bye!"

Self Portrait Tuesday~Solemn child

Looking through old photos for this month's theme, I found that I hardly ever smiled which is odd to me because I had a happy childhood. I guess it was because I was so shy. So for this last Tuesday of the month I chose to show the more solemn side of myself as a child with a very unoriginal collage, but hey I have limited resources.


See the one on the right with the white sailor hat and reindeer in the background? I thought that hat was so cool but I was looking...uh...very dorky. I love the middle one on the bottom row. I don't know what Mama said to make me give her that look but it's hysterical! And look at the poor baby washing dishes. Have you ever seen such a forlorn look in your life?

Of course, I couldn't leave out the happy pictures, so here's a few with me actually smiling.

Now this one was taken on the same day as the one above with the dorky sailor hat. We were vacationing in Pigeon Forge and had taken a day trip to Santa's Land in Maggie Valley, NC. Why, oh why was Santa wearing 70's looking sun glasses? We'll never know.




ok, on this one I had apparently gotten into some lipstick which is weird because my mama didn't wear lipstick so I don't know where it came from, but I sure had fun playing with it. I look so cute and unlike myself.

here's my Kindergarten picture. Mama had forgotten it was picture day, so my hair wasn't combed and she had a fit when she got the picture back and saw the part in my bangs, and my shirt was ratty, but this is really me. I mean the shy grin and bashful eyes looking up at you, this really captures "me" when I was young.

life in a small town

What do you do on a Saturday morning when you're just in a restless mood? Take a trip to your local laundrymat!


This weekend my sister had an unwelcome guest spend the night at her house and stink up her blankets with his dirty, stanky body so we spent Saturday at the laundrymat. It's not that it's a bad place to go, not at all, it's the fact that it's Spring City and all the skanky people with their skanky unwashed bodies make it an unpleasant place to spend your Saturday morning. Bleh...I felt like I needed a shower after we left.

There was a lady and her 4 kids there when we got there and the kids were running around like wild animals let out of a cage. That was fine. One of the little girls that was maybe 2 years old came right up to my sister and put up her hands to be picked up and my sister gave me this what am I supposed to do look but picked her up anyway because we're just used to kids being around and I can't stand it when parents ignore their children. I was sitting there wondering where the mother was and did she not care that her daughter was going up to strangers like they were best friends. Hello, I'm not gonna let my child walk up to a stranger and let them pick her up. Later this woman came in with two very scary looking men, one of them was the white Don King I swear, but again the little girl went right up to one of the men just like he was her father (see picture below). The whole time we were there, that woman never once hollered out to see what her kids were up to and even left them inside (alone, with the baby still on top of the washer) while she took her laundry to the car. Now I can understand that she was probably frazzled what with 4 kids in an enclosed space for hours, and maybe she saw my sister and I as safe and reliable people to leave her kids with momentarily, but in this world today I would never leave my baby in a public place unattended.

Sorry, I felt the need to vent.

So here's my sister giving me the *I'd rather be plucking my eyeballs out with toothpicks because what the heck are those people trying to do to that machine* look. Nice.



The baby looking at "scary Don King" while the guy in the orange jacket checks dryers for forgotten items.

Self Portrait Tuesday -Easter

I chose an Easter theme this week because it was such a huge part of my childhood. I made a collage but I really wanted to show some detail of certain ones so I decided to put up more than one. I also want to include a little background story.

We had a wood/coal burning stove when I was little so every morning Mama had to go out and get some wood and a bucket full of coal to start the fire. Every Easter Mama would wake us up so we could wait for the Easter Bunny to come and then she would go out and get the wood. She would go out the back door and shortly the front doorbell would ring. It was him!!! He always came when Mama was outside so she always missed seeing him. We would rush to the door with Nana right behind us, and there would be a basket for both of us on the porch, then Mama would come running in with an armload of wood saying "Did he come? You mean I missed him again?" Of course now I know it was Mama who rang the doorbell, but even now I wonder how she did it because she would have to run awful fast to get from one door to the other in such a short amount of time.

Anyway, here's the collage:

Notice the picture in the bottom left corner. Yes I still hunt eggs. The second picture in the upper row shows us in the first of several Easter dresses that was hand made by my nana. I would wear it again at my Kindergarten graduation later that year. The center picture is me and my Nana on my first Easter. The bottom right corner is another home made dress year. I loved that dress because it had little purple flowers all over it. We got bunny rabbits that matched our dresses that year.



This is one of my favorite shots of me and my sister. Apparently it was a very windy day, but this is just such a precious shot with our wispy hair blowing and our little skirts ruffling in the breeze. Dig the shoes, man.



This is the same day a while later. I wanted to stay outside and play in my dress and Mama wouldn't let me. My cousin Greg wanted to take a picture with us, but as you can see I had pitched a small hissy and did not want my picture taken. It looks like I had taken the scissors to my bangs, but I can't confirm or deny that.




OK, this is the shot that defines the Easter Bunny experience for us. The doorbell had just rung and we were coming in from getting our baskets. We were so excited and man I can just fell the energy and joy coming through this shot.

I wish I could still get as excited about holidays now as I did when I was a kid.

a day at the antique store

You just never know what you'll find when you go to the local antique store. For instance, who would ever expect to see Darth Vader in such a position and with two star fighters yet? Meanwhile Barbie tries to look away but to no avail.


And remember awesome Halloween costumes like this? I think I may have actually worn one like this. I love her wand.


here's a close-up in case you missed the horrrible scary face.

Leia took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test! "Longs for tenderness and for a sensitivity of feel..." Click here to read the rest of the results.

SPT~ my baptism

What a week!

Last week was so amazing! I worked my butt off sewing costumes and being a dresser for the show. 14 hours a day wears you down, let me tell ya. Dr. Dolittle previewed in Chattanooga Friday and Saturday and I can proudly say that I was a part of making it happen. Just to know that I worked on a Broadway show is something I never imagined. This was a huge thing for me. Their next stop is Houston where the show opens for real and I'm sure there will be more changes made because just in the last week I think some part of the show changed 5 times.

They used puppets in the show and I helped sew on the flippers for Sophie the Seal and the mop hair for Jip the dog. I also had the priviledge of being the dresser for the girl who plays the moth and it was just an unbelievable experience. She was very helpful and so nice and since I've never done anything like this it was good that I was assigned to her. I got Tommy Tune's autograph and a picture with him . He's so nice and really into every aspect of his show, not passing off the job to someone else. The first day he came in I really didn't know what he looked like but everyone was like "Oh there he is!" and I was just like "what's going on?" but it wasn't this big entourage of people, just him and a couple of assistants and then his dresser came in carrying his little yorkie Shubert and it was so cute. I actually think there were more people wanting to see the dog than him.

I took a few pictures but I didn't really have time to pause for photos since there was always a costume to sew together or repair or redesign. They came to Chattanooga with a lot of things unfinished because of some kind of dispute with their union workers which is still unclear to me, but in any case, we were responsible for finishing what they started. I got some really cool shots of the stage and even got a few seconds to capture the action from backstage.

I had a wonderful time and one I won't soon forget it, but now it's back to my normal dull life. Woo.

I'll post the photos on my photo blog.

quickie update

just a note to say that this job at the Tivoli is really turning out to be an experience. I'm wiped out and this is only the second day! I've been sewing things into costumes from name labels to snaps, as well as painting shoes and other various projects, and I got pulled to be a dresser for the girl who's playing the moth. She's hooked up to this gigantic bug body that flies across the stage on wires, with her being the actual head and front legs of the moth. It actually looks more like a dragonfly, but who cares it's really neat-o. The show starts next Friday and it's just a preview show I guess to se how it's gonna go. I know they're going to Texas next and California, so if you go see the touring show of Dr. Doolittle with Tommy Tune, you'll be seeing my work on stage in lots of costumes! Woo hoo

oops!

The theme for Self Portrait Tuesday is personal history, not family. Sorry about that.

I'm supposed to start work at the Dollar General next week and let me tell you how excited I'm not. Anyway, I kept waiting for them to tell me to come in this week, but that ain't gonna happen so while I'm sitting on my butt watching it get fatter, I got another temporary job offer. There is a broadway touring company doing Dr. Doolittle at the Tivoli in Chattanooga and they need extra help with costumes and I just happen to know the lady that works with someone at the Tivoli. Unfortunately that lady happens to be the director of the play I just finished (Nuncrackers)so that's a little bit of a downer, but guess who's playing Dr. Doolittle? Tommy Tune!! OK, so now you're going "yeah, so who's that?" He was Ambrose in the movie version of Hello Dolly, and that's all I know him from, but that's enough. One thing I'm wondering abou tthough, if it's a broadway touring company, why didn't they bring their own costume people? That has me a little worried. I plan on taking as many pictures as possible, I don't know how they handle that kind of thing. There may be a lot of camera phone shots! I'm excited.

SPT and more

Happy birthday to meeeee!!! I had a good day, my sister gave me the old school Narnia series on DVD and the new CD from Bo Bice and a purty-ful vase! Then my mommy took me to Oak Ridge and we went to every thrift store between there and Rockwood. Here's some photos of all the things I picked up.

Now, the theme for Self Portrait Tuesday is Family History and I'm not really sure how I'm going to accomplish this one. This is just my second month, and I'm not an official member of the blog, (I fear negative comments!) but hey, this is just for self exploration, right? So without further adieu....the photo:


I think this shows some history with how much we've changed. We weren't on the same brain wave with our focal point though. The drawing was done at Opryland in 1979.

Resolutions?

Happy New Year! Yeah, everybody says it, but do they really mean it? When you go to the store and the check-out person says it, are they saying it out of habit, or do they really want you to have a happy, brand new year without mistakes, regrets, or disappointments? When you say it, are you really wishing that the person will have a good and prosperous year? I normally don't make resoultions, but I think this year that's gonna be mine. That when I say happy new year or have a good day, I'm really going to mean it and not be so pessimistic or think bad of people. In this new year, I'm not going to cling to the past but let everything go and move forward to a new life. Yeppers.

Whew!...well, I really wanted to tell you what I did last night, which was go to a singles dance and that I will never willingly do again. One of my friends talked me into going with her and another friend, and she was paying so I didn't want to dissappoint her. Oh, by the way, I don't dance. Let's remember that, shall we? We got there and I knew I was in for a groovin' time just by the sad decorations on the wall. I was told there was going to be food there. I was excited. It was Chex Mix. So that I wouldn't be left alone at the table, I went to the dance floor with my friends and kinda moved around whilst trying not to be seen by the DJ or anyone else. It wasn't that bad, I actually had fun when I realized that everybody else was jiggling more than me and nobody had any rhythm. Then disaster struck. I knew it was a "singles dance" but it didn't really hit me until this guy grabbed my hand and literally drug me to the dance floor. And just my luck it was a slow song and he had a couple of rotten teeth. And he was about 50. I finished the dance but then he followed me back to the table and just sat there and kept asking me if I drank and why didn't I have a boyfriend. I was picturing a boring night where I would just sit around and maybe dance a couple times with my friends, toast the new year and go home. This was not to be. I wasn't feeling well to begin with so I played that up a little and told my friends I was sick and wanted to go home. It worked and at 11:30 I was on my way home and the really sad part was that I got home before my mother.

OK, so here's the point to this whole story. I realized last night that I am an adult. Now, I know this is not a big shocker to most people, but I always considered myself younger than I really am. People are shocked when I tell them my real age and I totally enjoy that. Usually they think I'm at least 5 years younger. In church I go to the youth class. I always navigate towards the younger people when I'm in a play. Adults intimidate me and I don't really know how to hold a conversation with them. Just last week the youth had a sleepover at church and I was one of the two adults there but I didn't take on any of the responsibilities that I should have. Anyways, I realized that I was running away from this guy because he was not in my comfort zone and he personified adulthood at that moment. He was everything I don't want to be. I've been running and hiding my whole life and it just hit me hard that I don't have a clue where my life is going or what I really want. That is really scary for me because I thought I knew where I was in life, but now it's all up in the air. What do I do now?

Things you should not have to look at #25

You see all kinds of things in the Wal-Mart check out line. I don't know what's worse, the tight jeans, the cropped shirt, or the fact that she seemed oblivious to how gross this actually looked.

Christmas on a Sunday...

is great! I get to celebrate the birth of my Savior, Jesus Christ in the place that is set aside for worship and do it with my church family. So without a bunch of sentimental shtuss, I just want to say that we had a good day and got to spend it with the whole mishpocha. Oh, yeah...I got a book called Yiddish with Dick and Jane. My meshugge sister got it for me. Couldja tell? heh heh.

Dollywood pictures

I put some pictures on my other blog so take a look-see and imagine yourself there.

Nuncrackers cast

here's a shot of the whole cast after the last performance.
check out the groovin' tights.

check it out

OK OK so I lied about posting pictures on here but I have to show off the doll I made. I saw the pattern on an HGTV show and decided to give it a try. I'm a proud mama even though she's a little lop-sided. One leg is too long and one arm is sewn on funky but for my first attempt I think I did quite well. I still have to make her a face but other than that, she's done. I think I'll call her Delia. Take a look:


She's ready for her first piano lesson


Let's go for a sleigh ride!

Self Expression is good

Well, since this was my first attempt at self protrait tuesday I will say that the picture is not all that good, but I think I was concentrating too hard on getting my reflection in the ornament and failed to notice my expression. Thus the hateful look. But hey, since this is about discovering other sides of yourself, I see it as my more pensive, thoughtful side revealing itself within a confined space. Yeah, yeah, that's the ticket.

What's up with Lost? It's like we get one new episode and then 2 weeks worth of reruns and well, that's just sucking big time! The whole season started off kinda weird and slow and now when it's finally getting good, they go and show reruns. *harumph* What will Sayid do now without Shannon? And who's gonna get Jack, Kate or Ana Lucia? Will Walt come back or have "the others" captured him for good? I just want to know!!!!

Looky...

what I scored today at the thrift store!



It is so awesome and yet I have no use for it. When I saw it hanging there I knew I had to have it but I didn't really examine it close but when I got it home and took the price sticker off I found this on the inside:
So I got me an original piece of Austria which I think is totally awesome.
Ignore the sticker on the mirror, I tried to get a good shot without it but to no avail. Here's a close up with detail:

The apron is so beautiful with the little dutch people on it and I love the color. It's a good size too so it's useful if I actually wanted to use it, but I think I'll just look at it.

I also picked up these adorable little pin cushions:

I think I got these because the pattern of the material of 2 hearts was like a dress I used to have when I was little and it just brought me back to when my nana was alive. Here's what it looks like:


The lace is different on each set and I think I'm gonna cut them apart and use them as tree ornaments because they all have a little ribbon tab on them. That would be so cute. Or I might give one or two sets as gifts, I haven't decided.

In other news, I'm better now. My throat's not swollen anymore, and I feel good. I think I had strep throat because the day after I went to the doctor there were white spots all ovet the back of my throat and I had a fever, so I guess it's good I went when I did. I'm just glad there's no more coughing.

I'm still unemployed. It just totally sucks to be jobless at Christmas.

Again?

yep, I'm sick again. This time it's a sore and swollen throat along with a fever and nausea. I did go to the doctor and she said it was an infection and gave me some antibiotics, so by Thursday I should be better. I hope. We have a second weekend of shows ya know.

Although I felt like crap tonight I did go to the theater board meeting seeing as how it's the last one of the year. It seems that we won't be doing Steel Magnolias because they won't release the rights to it. I don't know why. We have a group from Russia coming next Tuesday called Moscow Nights and I really wanted to see them and now I get to because they're not serving dinner which means I get to do my favorite thing, concessions. Hey, at least I get to see the show for free so I'm not complaining.

Saturday show

Well, we made it through opening night without much fuss. The music was a little slow but overall we did good. It wasn't the worst run through we ever had. That would be dress rehearsal. hehe. I think tonight's show was the best so far because the audience was really responsive and laughed at practically everything. There was lots of ad libs but that just made it better. Alison is so funny, I swear she could cuss out the pope and people would be rolling in the floor in fits of laughter.

Tomorrow is a matinee and then we have 3 days to rest which I'm so glad of. Everyone seems to be burned out with this show and this is only the first week. They come walking through the door saying "I don't wanna do this play no more" and I'm right there with 'em. I don't know why but it's kinda like this play wasn't meant to be done but we're doing it anyway to spite the theater board.

I really want to take a break from the theater for a while, but next year they're doing Smoke on the Mountain and Steele Magnolias and I've wanted to be in both of those plays ever since they did them the first time years ago. What to do, what to do? I guess I'll wait and see who the director is and who else is going to be in them.

I still don't have a job and I'm getting really discouraged about finding one. I've put in so many applications at places that I don't really want to work at but I feel like those are the only place that will hire me only nobody's hiring! I know I could do something more challenging but I sell myself short because I don't have the right degree and I don't have any specialized training. I don't want to end up in a dead-end job that I hate, but I also don't want to be in a job that makes a ton of money that doesn't let me have a life. Office jobs sound great at first, but the ones I've had are so boring and repetitive that I look for any opportunity to get out. I want a crafty/artsy kind of job, and the only thing close to that was when Iworked at Dollywood making candles. That was the best job I ever had and I was insane to give it up. Even if I was making more money, I hated filing. So go back there, you say. Well, I wish I could but they have cut their employees and there's no room for me. Eh, I'm just gonna trust God to bring me into the right job. He's been faithful this whole time so why should he stop now?

Opening night!

It's opening night!

sorry...a little of the Producers there. Yeah so we had the dress rehearsal last night and parts that were horrible went really well and the songs that were really together just fell apart and sucked a big one. I guess that's how it goes. I'm ready for it to be over with but I say that about every play I do because I'm just so tired.

I know this is a blog of no real importance, it's not gonna change the world and there's no real insight into what's going on in the rest of the world, just a place for me to vent and keep track of things but dang it if I want to talk about my cat farting or my dog scratching all her hair off or my boobs or any other part of my body doing something weird, that's my perogative and I sound like Janet Jackson or whoever sung that song so there. I don't take negativity well and my defenses come up and I strike back with words that sound harsher than I intend for them to. So yes, if you read this blog, you have to hear about my cat farting and by the way, my dog farts too and she stanks!

Tech week is upon us!

Yes folks, this is tech week of our show. Actually we open Thursday so things are a tad hectic.

Nuncrackers, as you might have guessed, is about nuns. So we have to wear habits. Last time we borrowed our costumes from another theater, but this time they all had to be made. The reputation of the director/costumer/set decorator is one of procrastination, and thats the nicest way to put it. So do we have our costumes? no. Well, at least not the whole thing. Tonight we had the head piece to work with and can I just say that when the costume is on in combination with the stage lights the temperature in the theater rises like 1000 degrees. But...most of the songs are solid, there are a few forgotten words but that's no big deal. We're together on the dancing and my sister says we're hilarious, but I think that's only because she knows us and knows what's supposed to happen and what actually does happen.

I guess I'm excited about the play, I haven't really been into it this time around and I think it's because 1) the pressure of finding a job, and 2) I'm just burned out on this theater/director and ready to move on. I'm finding it hard to let go though and hope that when this play is over I'll feel free to spread my wings a little and maybe step up to the next level of my life. It's getting a little stagnant I think.

On a different note, I saw Rent today with my sister and we were the only ones in the theater. It was possibly because it was Monday at 1 pm but that's cool. I was all excited about seeing this movie because I loved the stage show and the soundtrack so much, but I was highly disappointed in the whole thing. I was ready to go in the first 10 minutes and needless to say I won't be adding it to my collection. I guess die hard fans would buy it, but I'm not one of those, contrary to what my sister says. Just because I know all the words to every song doesn't make me a freak, it just comes naturally.

I just wanted to shed some light on what it's like to be me at 3 A.M. I awoke last night to see my cat Chubby jumping on the bed and then flop down on my head. This is semi-normal behavior, so that's not the funny part. That comes when I tell you that this horrible smell of poo started filling my nostrils and I'm thinking that he's decided to start using my bed as the litter box. Seriously, I was afraid to move in case I put my hand in something smooshy, but it turns out that he just had really baaaaaddd gas. Really bad. Bad gas. Farts. Bad. So I put him outside and we were both happy.

Snort at that one Sessa ;)

Tragedy!

Thanksgiving shmanksgiving. Being sick on a holiday is so not fun.

OK, get this. The play opens next Thursday and for the past 4 days I've been sick with a sore throat and massive snot flow. Oh, and my ears are stopped up. My voice is nearly gone so I sound like a frog when I sing. I've never been sick for a play so this will be interesting to see unfold.

We had to write our bios for the program and I'm so not good at that. I feel like I'm signing a year book or being tested on my essay writing abilities. There's so much stuff I wanted to say but then I chickened out and just went with the uninteresting facts. Woo. Chicken.

Welp, that's about it but I'll leave you with a shot from tonights practice.



I tweaked it a weensy bit.

birthdays, bonfires and dreams

Today I realized that I'm good at thinking up things and then getting other people to do them. Maybe I should try to find a job doing that.

Tuesday was my seester's birthday but I'm slow so sorry about the time lapse. I got it in my head to have a bonfire for her because at the time it was still freakishly warm outside and we chose Friday as the big day. But as Wednesday dawned cooler than it had been I began to sense that the party might be a mistake. I had sent the invites on Monday and got a surprisingly big response so I was still praying for it to be warm for the party, but alas it was not meant to be. Last night it got down in the 20's so I knew there was no chance for a warm party. I've worked at the daycare for the past three days so preparing for the party proved to be a challenge. I have to give all the credit to my mumsy and sister because even though it was my idea, they did all the work. Everything's being set up and they're hanging the Christmas lights in the trees and here I am at the daycare painting the trim in the dining room. I feel a little guilty for that, but hey it's money and I have bills. I get home at 5 and the party started at 6 so I didn't have much time to clean up but it didn't matter because it was so freakin' cold I was bundled up pretty good. It was pretty warm once you got out there by the fire. We had the fire going in a huge blaze and the trees looked so pretty with the lights and when the full moon started to come up it was perfect. We were just a cozy little group. Eating in the dark was not easy but the dog ate what we dropped so it all worked out. It was over by 8 but that's ok because I was ready to come in and relax.

Ok the dream.
I was at a theater and they were having a festival/contest where different theater groups came and performed their version of a specific play. The theme for that year was Phantom of the Opera. I was sitting in the audience with some people from my church watching one group and I got up to leave and my nana (who is deceased) was there asking me if she could take my seat. The people I was with got offended but I ignored them and left to the back of the theater. I don't really remember anything about the Phantom interpretation except the girl said something about fire and then there was a torch going down a well and her voice kept repeating something. I was at the back of the theater and my director (Brenda) was there telling me she was going to go on tour with one of the groups (if only) but she was disappointed about something. Then it was the end of the festival and the theater was empty and gray with leaves blowing around. I got in a car and started out and it was like a forest but when we tried to go the ground was wet and mushy and we got stuck in the pine needles and mud.

I woke up after that but it was very real and very weird. Well, I see that this is plenty long so I'll just leave you with the knowledge that I'll be at the theater all day tomorrow trying to get together some resemblance of a play. I can't wait.

apologies all around

OK, I feel very out of control at the moment so I just want to say I'm sorry to Claire for coming off as snippy or short. I promise I was not trying to be. Let's just all be happy unassuming people again and go along our merry way. My motto is "I smile because I have no idea what's going on". I find that if you act dumb nobody expects you to do much. Doh!...I gave away my secret!

Moving on...

I finally got some pictures of my treasures from the other day and here they are:


These shoe are so awesome! They say "Salvadore Ferragamo France" and then "made in Italy". Yes, that would be the bright orange price sticker on the inside.



My wonderful blue and white toboggan I can't wait to wear. I hope it gets colder soon.

Touche!

I must clear up something that I posted last might. When I said I tell stories between songs, it was a joke! I was soooo joking. I'm one of the few cast members who actually knows what going on! Sorry for any confusion that might have popped up concerning my concentrating abilities. Cheese and crackers, I guess my humor is lost on all but the chosen few.

And...

Ok, I know I said I'd put up pictures but tonight I get to go see Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat for FREEEEEEE! So how can I pass that up? No, I didn't have time during the day because I was gone all day and got home around 4 and well I just don't feel like it.


Other than that, have a nice day!

Annoyed Much?

Tonight at play practice a couple of people were being less than pleasant and that put everyone on edge. You could cut the tension with a knife. There was too much negativity man and it was bringing me down. There seems to be a conflict between one of the actors and...well, everyone else. So tonight the director was in a mood and snapped everyone's head off because we apparently weren't doing enough concentrating. Can I help it if I have lots of stories to tell and the only time I get to tell them is between songs? But really, this woman (let's call her J) is becoming very annoying which is affecting the show.

In other news, I went to 2 thrift stores today and got some good shtuff. In the first one I picked up a needlepoint picture frame, a cute bunny and a very cute pair of shoes. Pictures tomorrow, I promise.

In the second store I racked up with an awesome blue and white toboggan, a vintage blue and pink lace house coat, a cute little baby sweater that says hello on the front and goodbye on the back, and even thought I don't have any childrens it was too cute to pass up, a cool old book o' beauty, and a little Christmas ornament that I hope is old but I don't care it's still cute. Really, I'll have pictures tomorrow.

That's it for tonight. Oh, and I still need a job.

New look!

AAAAHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
I love this template and I'm so happy I got it to work. At least I hope it's working. I don't have good luck with html. It's a cool retro blue and I am really into retro right now. yahooooo!

ok..ttfn *happy dance to bed*

I'm a slug

I'm a big lazy anti-goody-two-shoes. But today I have updates! I spent today with my mumsy and seester in Pigeon Forge shopping and taking stupid pitures of each other. I'll put some of those on my photo blog. Oh, and your gonna love this. We had just gotten through Rockwood when this fire engine came up behind us and zoomed passed us like we were standing still and we were like ooo I wonder where it's going. About five minutes later my sister gets a call from her niece saying that a fire truck was coming to her house because they had set a brush pile on fire and somebody had reported it. We got to her house and there was her sister-in-law spraying the towering blaze with water while the men and several other various vehicles were parked in the driveway watching. They had gotten a permit, but some nosey blankety-blank had called it in because that's what you do around here when you get bored. Woo there's a fire, Mildred go get the lawn chairs and a coupla brewskys...oh and bring the video camera! We may wanna show this to the grandkids later on. Anyhow they got everything settled and nobody got in trouble or hurt. :D

If you haven't noticed I put a new picture on my profile. It's the most decent and normal one I could find in my files, although I do look a little glowy-eyed demon-ish. I'll see if I can dig up a better one.

Can I just say how sad it is when you spend your Friday evenings at home and the highlight of the whole night is the Capitol One commercial where the vikings are finding new jobs and going trick-or-treating? Yep, that would be my life.

Uhmm...play practice is going....swell. We open the first weekend in December and I haven't really gotten into the swing of practice yet. Usually I'm the one who's running lines constantly and trying to be perfect with the stage directions, but I just don't care at this point. Gee, I hope that doesn't have any affect on my performance.

Ok. well I'm going over to the other site to post some pictures now. I don't like this template so I'm gonna try to find another one. Hmm, that shouldn't be too hard. HA!

I just realized that I have pictures of Louisiana and I should share them with others. So instead of uploading them all I've put them on Flickr. Here's the link

They're not that awesome because I didn't get much of a chance to take pictures, that pesky work kept taking my time. Honestly, we worked from sun-up until about 5 or 6, but it was a rare chance I got to actually take time to run to the van, get my camera, and snap a quick picture or two.

So here ya go, I have to go watch House Hunters now. I'm a dork, shut up.

I have a photoblog!

Hurray! So I finally opened a new place to view my pictures for anyone that's interested.

I decided to call it Picture Me This. I don't know why, it doesn't really make sense, but it sounds good.

I hope you enjoy seeing the world through my little eyeballs. It's not Ansel Adams, but life would be boring if everyone was the same, no?

new....uh.....news

A few updates for ya:

I'm getting emails almost every day asking for chain saw groups and feeding groups to go to LA and now Florida for clean up and it frustrates me so much because I can't go unless there's a team willing to take me with them, and since I have no experience with a chainsaw, well I'm stuck. I suppose I could go down there myself and say here I am, put me where you want me, but that makes me feel like I'm barging in. What to do, what to do? Oh yeah, and I still need a job.

TVT has started rehearsal for their Christmas play, Nuncrackers, and *ta-da* I'm in it. I will be reviving my role as Sister Robert Anne and singing my little heart out with the other girls that are stepping back into their characters. We had our first real rehearsal tonight and won't meet again until next Monday, so I'm already getting to the GRRRRRR stage and we just started.

My sister got the soundtrack to "Wicked" today and it's awesome. I've already listened to it once through, and I have a feeling I'll soon have it memorized.

And the last thing. I'm not gonna put any more pictures on this blog, but I'm going to start a photo blog. I may put one up just to emphasize a point or something, but for the most part I think the words and the pictures take away from each other. So check back for the link.

That's about it. Have a good night.

home again

I got home Saturday, but let me tell you I've been catching up on my sleep, so forgive the delay in posting. It seems like I've been in another world for the past week. Time in Louisiana seemed to be absent for the people who work tirelessly and constantly for those who have lost everything. I ended up working with a chainsaw group, not the feeding unit like I expected, but it turned out better that way. I felt like I was doing more to help people. I really had no concept of time while I was dragging limbs and logs larger than myself across the yards of houses that had their roofs caved in, siding blown everywhere, and powerlines hanging down.

I was in a town called Sulphur, one of the hardest hit in that area, and before I got there I really didn't know what to expect. I kind of thought it would be a small town like mine, with 2 red lights and not much else. It turned out to be quite large, and much more than I expected. There wasn't any flooding, mostly wind damage and leaking from holes in the roofs, but some people still lost everything. There were houses that had so much damage from trees and right beside them the neighboring house would be untouched, no trees down or anything. The week before we got there the town had a curfew of 6 pm, fortunately that was lifted by the time we got there, but most businesses still closed before it got dark. Wal Mart closed at 3 and had lines to get in the store. That to me is amazing, that you have to stand in line just to get inside the Wal Mart.

We stayed in the gym at Maplewood First Baptist Church,taking our meals and sleeping in the same space. Let me tell ya that it's not fun waking up and seeing people staring at you while they're in line for breakfast. I didn't watch TV the whole time I was there, mostly because there wasn't one, and we worked all day clearing trees and brush only stopping for a short lunch. By the time we finished all I wanted to do was take a shower and go to sleep. Tylenol PM was my best friend. We completed 10 houses in the week we were there, but there's so much more to do and not enough people to do it. New volunteers from the Tenn. Baptist Convention Disaster Relief come every day or so, but even with groups working nonstop, the jobs never seem to get smaller. The day we left there were still over 1,000 job requests from people that couldn't afford to pay to have trees removed, and were relying on the kindness of volunteers they had never met before.

Friday they closed the feeding unit for the public, claiming that the numbers were going down and that meant things were getting back to normal. The number of people fed on Monday was over 8,000 and by Thursday it was 4,000 something, so yeah, it was time. Normal for these people will be a long time coming, but it's a step in the right direction now that they have power.

I left Saturday with mixed emotions. I wanted to stay and help as much as I could, and stay in this world simplified by disaster, but yet I wanted to go home and escape from the tragedy and destruction that was left in the wake of the storm. Hopefully I'll go back, but for now I just have to get on with life in Tennessee.

Leia called me tonight at 9:35 ish to let me know that she had gotten there safely. These are her words, sort of...at least this is what she told me to write. Lol. Okay, so it took them 14 hours to get there, and on the way they stopped at Burger King, and she got a chicken sandwich that wasn't even cooked. She didn't eat it. But, once they got there, she said there were trees everywhere, huge trees, and huge piles of brush on the sides of the streets, higher than her head (she's 5'7), and the smell was horrid. They are staying in a gym, and she had just taken a shower when she called, and was heading to bed, because she gets to get up at 6:30 in the morning. So, that's it so far. I'm sure she'll be calling me again with something she wants me to blog for her. So...there ya go =D

Hola, Speia readers! This is her sister, and I'm just writing up a lil postie to let you know that she left this morning, having to be in Dayton at 4:00 a.m. She was not happy about that, believe you me. Anyway, she will be calling me from time to time, letting me know what's going on so that I may relay the messages on to you all. If you pray, please keep her in your prayers - if not, keep her in your thoughts. I worry about her too much, I suppose. :)

Today I've realized quite a few things. First, I've been basing the success of this blog by the comments, or lack thereof. I read other people's blogs and they have like 50 comments or something like that,and I get really discouraged because I have ZERO! But then I look at my stats and I'm doing pretty darn good. I realized that I read these blogs but I never leave comments, so just because no one is commenting doesn't mean they're not reading. It does make me feel good though when I see a comment, until I discover that it's some stupid spam ad for beauty products or porn or garbage like that. My advice to myself-it takes two to make a connection.

Second, I rely too heavily on people. I seem to meet people and then attach myself to them thinking that we have some special bond and that they're gonna drop everything and help me when I ask them. In reality, I don't really know them, they don't really know me so why should they even acknowledge me, let alone stop what they're doing to help me.

I remember in college when I was first introduced to chat rooms there was this one guy I used to talk to all the time. He was fairly popular around the chat rooms that I visited, so I felt like I had a connection with him. One day I was in the school library with one of my friends chatting away when these two hoodlums came up to where the computers were and started bugging us online. They would interrupt our chats and would say really crude and derrogatory things to us, we told the librarian but she couldn't do anything abou it. Later, on another day when I was talking with this guy I told him what had happened and said I wished he would have been there to stop these guys. After that he never would talk to me and had this other girl tell me to stop talking to him, which I thought was a bit much but whatever. I was totally devastated because I didn't even know where this guy was from and I knew he couldn't have done anything about it but here he was treating me like a stalker, which I'm not, btw.

Anyway, so now I find myself trying to make connections with people based on their blogs that I read, when in reality I don't know them from Adam. I'm not a freaky stalker-type person I swear. I'm just needy.

OK, so that was only two things, but very important things. I had a third one but something freaky happened and I lost it, but I think I just needed to vent on that one and it's not important now. But if you must know I'll give you the microwave version. I had a friend, he ditched me for his fiance, and now even though we say we're friends it won't be anything more than emails and eventually nothing.

Happy?

Am I ready?

I've been trying to avoid writing simply because I don't know what to say. I'm finally getting to leave Wednesday for Louisiana to a town called Sulphur, and I'm excited but concerned about my lack of money situation. Not having a job just sucks a big fat one when you have bills. I wish I had never gotten any credit cards, and the sad part is only one of them is a major card! The rest are like department store cards that I put way too much money on for stupid things I don't even need. Play the violins for me, I'm a little whiney tonight. But hey, I'm better! I actually ate real food last night and again tonight. Mashed potatoes though they may be, at least it's not popsicles. I'll miss my popsicles. The yummy, banana-ey goodness that they are and ever will be, frozen forever in time until someone takes one out of the freezer to enjoy. Yum.

Ok, so I don't think they've restored power to Sulphur yet, so I don't know how often I'll get to post, hopefully at least once a week. I'm thinking about using my sister as a liason to the blog. My plan is to call her on the cell, relay my thoughts while she types it on here. I think it will work. Now I just have to tell her. hee hee.