Where's My Sunglasses? SPC #2

Since I've been working at the daycare I've been getting up a whole lot earlier than I'm used to. Except now I'm used to it. So this morning I was up in time to see the first rays of sunlight coming over the mountain. So early in fact that I decided to take my dog to "visit" my grandmother's grave at the grave yard. It's here that I faced the sun. The sun is "shining" in my face.




The truth is I'm having a little difficulty interpreting this month's theme of Get Your Shine On. I'm not very good at abstract things. Give me a good detailed list of what you want and I'm right on top of it. I will continue to try to be more creative with this because some of the other blogs I've seen blow me away with their creativeness. You can see more of them here at Self Portrait Challenge.

uh...yes I lied

Weekly Wrap up #4 Liar Liar

In the past week have you lied? What was the lie?

Yes...I made up an excuse for a girl I work with not to come in for somebody else who wanted to leave work for no good reason

What was the scale of this lie (white lie, huge lie, etc)? Were you lying to cover another lie?

white lie...nope not covering

Did you feel guilty about the lie or nonplussed?

not guilty in the least...she needed to be at work, not looking for her next fix

If you haven’t lied at all, was this because of an effort to tell the truth or because you simply did not have to?

i can't answer this one...sorry

Hair twirling is in my blood (Self Portrait Challenge week 5)

I have some excellent hair twirling skills...



I've done it ever since I can remember, especially when I get nervous or bored or frustrated. When I was a very little girl I would play with my mama's hair while I was going to sleep, and I guess it just progressed into playing with my own and I'm the only one in my family that does it. So it's not really in my blood, but it sounded like a good title for this blog.



I don't know why I'm not smiling...it seems like a lot of my pictures are of me not smiling. I guess I was just concentrating so hard to get the shot it looks like I'm mad or something, but I'm not I swear.

See other great self portraits here

Saturday 9: We Travel Well

1. What part of the world and country do you live in?
United States, Tennessee

2. What is the furthest from home that you have been, and where is it?
Durango, Mexico

3. What travel destination have you enjoyed the most?
I will say Maine because it was the first time I tasted cookie dough ice cream and I just thought it was the greatest invention...ever!
*That sounds kinda shallow after I read it so I should probably say Mexico because it was for a mission trip and I really did enjoy seeing a different culture from my own southern...uh redneck world.*

4. What travel destination have you enjoyed the least?
a college choir trip to Folley Beach, South Carolina. It was just all kinds of messed up.

5. Is there somewhere you’d like to visit but have not, and where is it?
Yes, definitely Greece. The urge started with the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants and has been reconfirmed with the viewing of Mamma Mia. It just looks so beautiful and happy.

6. Do you prefer traveling to see historic places or to hit the beach and relax?
I enjoy both. I like laying on the beach for about 2 days and then I get bored out of my mind.

7. What popular vacation destination have you never considered because you think you’d not like it?
Niagra Falls

8. Where do you travel to most recently?
Orlando, Florida to work with the children at Wycliffe Bible Translators but gee whiz that was a year ago. I haven't been anywhere since.

9. Do you like day trip “mini-vacations”?
Yes. We go to Dollywood all the time since it's only about 3 hours away even though we haven't been at all this year. It's a very dry year for traveling at our house. And when I see this post, I laugh.

My Neighbor Loves Me!

Cause looky at what we found on our back porch when we got home this afternoon!
YUMMY!!!!!


A close up...just so you can see how yummy they are.

Spelling 101

Boy, I can't spell. I was looking through my older blog posts and I have a ton of misspelled words. This is one of my pet peeves, for people not to spell words right. And look at me, I'm slacking left and right with my spelling. I will try to do better next time. I promise.

It's more of an ability...really (Self Portrait Challenge Week 4)

Ok so I had a great skill all ready for this week but I realized it's not really a skill, it's more of an ability. A skill is something you learn and perfect, an ability is something you're born with and just naturally can do. I had to scramble around and think of something I'm good at and I this is my skill for this week:



This was my first attempt at making a doll from scratch (with a pattern) and it turned out a whole lot better than I expected. Whenever I'm asked what can I do I always say "not much" but that's really not true because I can sew, I just don't consider it an important achievement and that is not very good because I give myself far too little credit.

I have to tell this story because...well I like to tell stories. My second doll was from a bear pattern that I modified into a doll. You can read about where I made it here. I don't think about it much but that's pretty big considering it was only my second one. I gave it to a friend for her birthday and I was over at her house one night with another girl we both know and she saw the doll and made a comment about how big its feet were and the next time I make one I should make the feet smaller. I made excuses about how it was a modified pattern, it was supposed to be a bear with furry feet, and how it was only my second try. I really shouldn't have, and just brushed it off but it hurt to hear the criticism, even though she knows nothing about sewing or how to make a doll. Here's a picture of that one, and I really don't think her feet are that big:



So you want to know what my ability is? I can touch my nose with my tongue. Here let me show you:



How do you like them apples?

Saturday 9: My Favorite Things

Saturday 9: My Favorite Things

1. What is your favorite thing to do alone?

look at family pictures

2. What is your favorite thing to do with your best friend?

go to the movies

3. What is your favorite band?

Third Day

4. What is your favorite song?

I'm Not Cool by Scott Krippayne

5. What is you favorite part of your job?

Nap Time

6. What is your favorite TV show, on now?

The Mole

7. What is your favorite TV show all time?

Xena

8. Who is your favorite actor?

I don't really have a favorite favorite, I guess right now Will Smith

9. What is your favorite film?

I don't have just one favorite, so I'll say Connie and Carla. heh

it was bad, then it was good, then it was bad

Ignoring the fact that I had to go in to work 4 hours earlier than planned, my day went...ok. I get a call during my leisurely breakfast of cereal that went something like this:
Me: hello? (actually it was more like erro? cause I had my mouth full)
her: Can you come in now? Melissa's throwing up.
Me: grrrrrrr......
pause
Me: what do you want me to do about it?
her:what are you doing, can you come in?
Me: I guess, let me finish breakfast and get dressed.
That was the bad.

Ok so then I get there 30 minutes later and we're doing our kid watching thing and Chrissy says "you wanna go with me to Chattanooga tomorrow?"

OK let me take a break here to tell you that tomorrow the Antiques Road Show will be filming in Chattanooga for their upcoming season. That's right people I said Antiques Road Show. You had to enter a lottery to get free tickets and out of oh...116,000 people that put their name in the pot only about half of them got lucky enough to receive 2 tickets each. I wasn't one of them. And darn it I wanted to be. Chrissy wasn't one of them. But her friend was.

So I couldn't figure out why she was asking and it took a few for it to click as to what she was asking me. I jumped up and down and hollered and said woo hooo! Oh wait. I said "WOO HOOOO!!!! You bet I wanna go!!! How did you get tickets?" And she told me her friend got sick and didn't want to go.
That was the good.

So I called my sister and was telling her the exciting news while unbeknown to me she was on the phone to her friend who had changed her mind and was telling her she had decided to go. Talk about shattering your hopes. Man, I really wanted to go and you can call me a geek or whatever but that is very exciting to me. I told her it was ok, but she had to make a sign that says "Hello Leia" and find the twins and make them hold it so she can take a picture of them waving and holding the sign. That is the only thing that will make it better.
That was the bad...again.

Oh, but it got better.
About 20 minutes after I came in, Melissa (the throw up girl) was spotted by the owner of the daycare at McD's laughing and talking to some of her friends. And this is funny because the daycare owner lives right beside McD's and can stand on her back porch and see everything that goes on outside. I don't know about you, but if I'm gonna pretend to be sick to get out of work I will not be seen anywhere near my work or any place affiliated with my work. And to top it off she came back to the daycare to give her sister (who also works there and has been caught sleeping on the job by a parent...but that's another story) the money that she had cashed for her. How stupid can people be? You don't have to answer that, because I've seen stupid first hand and it ain't pretty.

Oh, and it got even better.
The final thing, I swear. Our problem child is being moved to a different daycare. We have 4 daycares total, and he is moving on up to the pre-k house. That nullifies anything bad that happened today, and we will be doing a little happy dance on Monday. I might even make cupcakes. With sprinkles.

Here, look at this picture. Just because.

My skills (Self Portrait Challenge week 3)

I've been doing the self portrait challenge thing on and off now and started when it was self portrait Tuesday but have never officially joined. I was going to start last month but I really am not comfortable showing my nekkedidity to the world yet. I know a lot of people took the risk and did, and I really did take some pictures but I just couldn't bring myself to post them. If you want to see other self portrait posts look here or here or here, or even here.

But on to this month. I'm gonna try to do this every week but we'll see what happens. Since the theme is skills I was like, "I can totally do this cause I got skills..." but trying to find something I can actually call a skill is hard. I can sew a fair stitch, I can cross stitch a bit, I can make you a fabulous single crochet blanket, and those are good skills to have but what do I have that would be impressive to someone? Not much it turns out. I am probably giving myself far too little credit but I never was one to brag. Is that bragging about not bragging? I can do one thing that some people are amazed at. I can read a book upside down. I think it comes from the years of working with kids. I know that's not a major thing but it's something that I can call mine.

So this is me reading upside-down to the childrens at the daycare. The picture came from a cell phone so forgive the grainy-ness. It's not a great picture (no offense to my very talented, sweet, wonderful friend that took the picture...apologies forever and I'll buy ya a big honkin' drink when you get home) but I'm not aiming for greatness. I do feel like there are so many other great posts by people who are participating in the challenge and I don't measure up to most of them.



But since I'm on the subject of sewing skills I was thinking the other day that nobody in my family is continuing the tradition of quilting. My grandmother quilted, her husband's sister quilted, and I'm sure other women in my family also had the wonderful skill of putting pieces of fabric together to make a beautiful quilt. I don't want that to die so I intend to do something about it. I do have that skill of putting pieces of fabric together, I just need to hone in on it and put it into practice. And also make the time. I have a quilt top that I started in high school (which has been eons ago) and it's almost finished and I need to get up off my lazy butt and finish it. When I do I'll put up pictures. Lots of them.

Friday Fill-Ins

1. Oh, I can't wait until I have a room that is organized.

2. lots of plastic containers is the first thing I see when I open my refrigerator.

3. I never leave home without saying bye to the dog.

4. If I were a condiment, I would be honey because I'm just that sweet.

5. Rudeness is really high up on my list of pet peeves.

6. The last thing I thought of before I went to bed was how bad I didn't want to get up to go to work.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to not working, tomorrow my plans include Red Cross Shelter Training and Sunday, I want to go swimming!

Anonther life lesson to add to the books

Do not, I repeat DO NOT try to take your contacts out without washing your hands first after you have handled a supposedly not hot banana pepper. And especially don't rub the water you've washed your eyes out with repeatedly down your face...unless you want to be face down in a bowl of milk. That's right I said milk.

Think about it.

How hard is it to take a picture of a 2 year old?

It's apparently very difficult to take a picture of a 2 year old. First comes the attitude:



Which leads to anger and shoving of the camera:



I did get one fairly good shot, but I took her by surprise:



And finally she just gave up and hid her face:



Most kids I know will automatically pose every time they see a camera, so I don't know what was up with her because she is not shy. She loves me. She was just being a terrible 2 that day.

Wow, I'm really deep

I was going to write about how much I like my layout but if I use it in new Blogger I can't figure out how to put my links on it, and if I use it in classic blogger I get my links but my blog title doesn't show up, and how much it all stinks. Then I was like, whoa...is that the most important thing on my mind right now? How shallow am I to be thinking about something as trivial as a blog layout when the people in the mid-west are getting their homes destroyed by water and wind. Most of the time I'm so self absorbed I don't even know what's going on in the world. I never watch the news, I never read the newspaper...except to look for a job. I am very aware of how selfish that is, and I would very much like to fix it. I'm trying. I've started sending birthday cards to people at church which I should have been doing all along, but seriously I feel like an outsider in my own church. And hey, that's another post entirely.

I never know how to end my blogs. I feel like I start something all philosophical and end up saying yep...that about does it. I'll work on that.


Yep...that about does it.

Saying goodbye

If you have cats, and you have any kind of a heart, please get them tested and vaccinated for Feline Leukemia.

Let me tell ya why.

A few weeks ago our yellow cat started looking droopy and stopped eating so we took her to the vet where we found out she had leukemia. They gave us some medicine, told us that if she didn't get better in a week to come back and sent us home. A week later we were back at the vet to say goodbye to our little Athena because she was not getting any better. We also brought her sister Artemis in to get tested and the test came back positive but she had not started to show any signs of being sick. The vet told us the disease was just like AIDS for cats, it's very contagious and there is no cure, she would always be sick but some days would be better than others. He gave us some different medicine and sent us home, again.

So she's slowly started to eat less, sleep more, and just get sicker. And then there was today.
The end of my day was spent cleaning my sick baby cat's fur because she has no control over her bowels. Cutting and combing out poopie fur that the flies have laid eggs in because she doesn't have the energy to get up and move or even to swat her tail, and not wanting my mother to see how sick she really is. Watching her just lay there when I stuck her under the faucet to try to get the matted hair washed out, and then doing it again after I get her dried off and she messes all over the floor because the supplement we've been giving her is the only thing in her belly.

It is interesting to me how I can freak out over a paper cut or something small like that but when you are fighting to save something you love the task in front of you is the most important thing in the world. There is no grossness in cleaning, there is no anger for getting things dirty, there is only the need to make it better any way you can.

Tomorrow we will say goodbye again, this time to Artemis. It's time. I would rather do it this way than to see her waste away, and this will be the best thing to do for her.

So again I say, please please please get your cats tested and vaccinated because you do not want to go through what I did, what she did.

This wedding stuff is getting to me!

Just this month I have already been to 1 wedding shower, 1 wedding, preparing to go to another shower and 2 more weddings. Is it just me or is everybody getting married? And they're all younger than me! I was already supposed to be married and have at least 2 kids by now but do I, NO! That wears you down, man!
I think when I ever do get married I'm gonna make my bridesmaids wear something equivalent to this monstrosity, just because I can:



You know, like a theme wedding. Yeah, that's the ticket! All pastels, lace, hats, gloves, shawls, and parasols. and how do you like that.

My Day Was Bad, but the Book Club Was Better

It wasn't really that bad, but it did have it's low points. This is what I had to deal with today:

grumpy kid who I later found out has an ear infection AND a sinus infection.


Very grumpy kid who didn't want to take a nap but insisted on watching TeleTubbies...for the 3000th time. Which she didn't get to do. Although I think this was at lunch time while we were waiting on the hamburgers to get done. I don't know, after so long the episodes all just run together.


There were some happy moments though and I am grateful for them:





And at the end of the day...
It was book club night and we had some very delicious food, a very good discussion, and a very good time. The book: The Idiot Girls Action Adventure Guide. The menu: calzones (thank you both Q and J!), and PIE! (thank you Karen!) Key Lime and Strawberry something (I brought that so I have permission to not remember the name!)

When it was time to leave I volunteered with much protesting (yeah right) to take the key lime pie home. I have to admit that the strawberry pie wasn't very good so sorry Sarah Lee. I got the pie home and picked it up to get out of the car...and dropped the whole stinking thing on the ground!!! and all over myself. I almost cried. So fortunately my mother was there to document the whole thing which I now pass along to you.

I tried to catch it with my whole arm.



YUM! Gravel pie anyone?



Can you hear me now? Oh, wait let me remove the graham cracker crust! How about now?


Yeah, so in the words of my great and wise friend Quezal, that's what I get for being so dang greedy!

Daycare Daze

Sometimes I really love my job. The kids can be so funny it's amazing. Our youngest baby is learning to crawl, but he hasn't quite got the hang of it yet so he mostly scoots backwards. One day last week I was down in the floor with him trying to keep him occupied during nap time when he found my shoe strings. He loves shoe strings. Any kind. He rolled all over my legs trying to get to them.



And he's also learned to make a surprised face which I think is just hilarious.



And then there are the older ones who had to show me their silly faces. I love the static in the hair.



It's funny how I spend most of the day trying to keep the boys from killing each other and then they pull out gems like this.



I just adore this little girl. She reminds me of a muppet and she's just so loving.



This little boy is too smart for his own britches. It's hard to discipline him when he's making you laugh so hard you have to leave the room!



I don't want to be in daycare for the rest of my life, but while I'm looking for another, higher paying job, this will do quite nicely.

ugh...I really want to keep this updated but I just can't think of anything really important to say. I guess it doesn't really have to be mind blowing or awe inspiring, but every time I sit down to write something it sounds stupid to me. I should just suck it up and write whatever I feel and not worry about what other people think. That's my problem I know. I worry so much what other people think I suppress what I'm really feeling. Whoa, where did that come from? OK, I just wanted to update a little since it's been a while so I'm just gonna end this now and save the philosophical stuff for another time.

No, really...

I have hope!

So many things have been happening I hardly know where to begin. I feel a bit guilty for not updating as often as I used to but every time I sit down to write something it doesn't seem that important.

I got a job in October of last year at a daycare that is 1 block from my house and so now that it's warmer I can walk to work cause let me tell ya I need to walk! I was not happy at first because I was making minimum wage, the kids were heathens (they still are), and just general suckiness all around.

I started selling stuff on Ebay and was really nervous at first but now I've got a lot of stuff on there. You should go check it out. I have been quite successful in this endeavor and I'm very thankful to God for allowing me to be able to do this. I'm trying to focus on vintage clothing but I have a lot of plus size stuff also so I'm just gonna wing it for a while and see how it goes. I think I need to be a buyer for vintage clothing stores because it's like once I start looking I just don't want to stop! I've started to get an eye for all things vintage and it excites me.

Things have gotten better at the daycare also. The one kid that I was having to most problems with got sent to another daycare, we found out Friday that we are now wearing scrubs as our"uniform" which is one of the reasons I wanted to get a job at a hospital, and we're getting a raise! I've started tithing again now that I actually have money to give and God has truly blessed me in the past month and I can't begin to express my gratitude. I had a talk with my pastor today and he told me that it sounds like God is about to do something big with me so I shouldn't get ahead of myself with how good things are going and it kind of confirmed what I was thinking. I think even though it's not the perfect job for me God wants me there to do something good for these kids. My financial situation is still in the dumps but I can see a tiny speck of light at the end of this serpentine tunnel and it gives me hope.
I pray that God will continue to use me where I am until the day I can freely say "here I am, send me."

Valentine?

For some reason I really like this picture.

cupcakes, yummy cupcakes

Dracula Cupcake, originally uploaded by cookiejartx.

I thought I would catch up with some of the blogs I read, and as I was reading Betty's (which has moved to another server; shows how much I keep up huh) I came across this blog all about cupcakes!!
They look so good I just want to eat them all right now. I think I have a sugar addiction. Seriously. I was gonna post pictures of my favorite ones, but if you just go to the cupcake blog you can see all of them and I won't have to be redundant picture poster girl. Oh, ok. Maybe just one!

It was time...

Sunday I did something I would not have done just a couple of months ago. I got my hair cut! So big whoop, right? Well, it was for me. I haven't cut my hair for about 4 years and it was almost like a security blanket for me. The minute my friend cut my braid off and handed it to me, it wasn't my hair anymore. It was so weird. I knew it was mine, but it felt like it no longer belonged to me. It was a little icky, feeling the hair that I used to twirl through my fingers many, many times. Oh well, here's some pictures for ya:

ooo this is very artistic, look I have a halo!




the before shot:

time away in Florida

Today marks the first week that I've been in Florida for my 2 1/2 week stay at Wycliffe Bible Translators Spring Training Camp. I really didn't know what to expect other than taking care of babies all day in childcare. I didn't know anything about Wycliffe except that it's where my friend Rachel is serving as a missionary and they translate the Bible into different languages. I went in thinking oh I'll just do my thing and not have to worry about the other people because they're not concerned with me anyway. That is so not the case. These people, who have never met each other before, come from all over the U.S. and treat each other like family. That is semi-foreign to me. I'm used to people saying hello and then just going about their business and not really caring if you answer back or not. But this is something I long for, to be a part of a group that not only asks you how you are, but truly wants to know the answer and if it's not the best report, they want to pray with you about whatever 's wrong. I want so badly to fit in, but then the thought comes into my head that I'm not on the same level as them because they know what drives them, they have a purpose and a mission, and they know that they belong to God and they're willing to give up everything to spread his words to all people. For example, every night we've had the upcoming missionaries tell about how they got involved with Wycliffe, and 2 of the girls who spoke have turned down marriage proposals because that would hinder their commitment to God. I could tell it was a difficult decision for both of them and it broke my heart to see their pain. I want to be committed to God like that.

I'm running out of time so I'll continue this another day. Got to go take care of those babies! 4 under a year and all boys. Oy!

stretching

stretching, originally uploaded by Leia Speia.

How funny is my little Lola being? She was dead asleep and when my mother tried to move the blanket, she decided to stretch and roll. I caught it at just the right time.

I googled myself

I found an article about the show I did last year that I had no clue was in the paper. Of course, I don't get the Chatt. paper so why should I be surprised that I knew nothing about it? Anyway, here's the article.


Behind-the-scenes for "Dr. Dolittle"
Chattanoogans help to ready musical for national tour
Wednesday Jan. 11, 2006

Filed by Susan Pierce

Staff Photo by Angela Lewis

Cast members of Dr. Doolittle dance during a rehearsal at the Tivoli Tuesday afternoon. The national tour of the production begins Friday.

(Times Free Press reporter Susan Pierce went behind-the-scenes for rehearsals of "Dr. Dolittle" to be presented at the Tivoli Theater this Friday and Saturday at 8 p.m.)

With two days left before the curtain rises on the premiere of "Dr. Dolittle," the quiet, pristine marble lobby of the Tivoli Theatre is buzzing with the whir of sewing machines and conversation.

The lobby has become the temporary costume shop of designer Dona Granata and assistant costume designer Jeriana Hochberg. Ms. Granata - part of the creative team assembled by Tommy Tune, "Dr. Doolittle's" star and director - has been charged by the star with creating 98 costumes in only six weeks time.

"Well, considering the transit strike in New York then Christmas and New Year's holidays, it's been more like one month," she amends.

Beneath the Tivoli chandeliers, a dozen tailors and seamstresses were attaching tulle ruffles, hand-beading gowns and stitching roping to make a horse's mane on Tuesday afternoon. Ms. Granata also showed us how they had combined mopheads to make a shaggy English sheep dog.

A ring of rolling clothing racks held costumes in varying stages of completion. There was an immediate impression of elegance conveyed through luxurious fabrics,

Staff Photo by Angela Lewis

Marian Heintz, left, and Carol Dill work on costumes at the Tivoli Tuesday afternoon. The national tour of the production begins Friday.

elaborate trims and glitter of faux gemstones.

Ms. Granata's attention to detail was astounding -- especially considering that much of the smaller trimwork won't even be visible to the majority of the audience.

No one working in the "costume lobby" appeared stressed by the Friday deadline. Ms. Granata credited that calm to the assistance of local residents who have been helping wardrobers sew since last weekend.

"This is very unusual to have help like this," she said. "These Chattanooga women have been unbelievable." According to Kathy Allison, dean of fine arts at Center for Creative Arts, the crew is from the International Alliance of Theatrical Stage Employees, Local 140.

In addition to Ms. Allison, the added staff includes Leia Barker, Mary Coleman, Carol Dill, Sarah Eldredge, Randy Forester, Susan Gilbreath, Marian Heintz, Apryl Hughes, Tammy Ingram, Kay Jennings, Jessie Knowles, Kathie Majors, Trudi Patterson, Brenda Schwab and Jessie Wilson.

"The opportunity to work with the rich fabrics and have a designer is just phenomenal," said Ms. Allison as she ironed a length of satin material.

Ms. Allison said the crew has worked with three other national tours that launched from the Tivoli, "but they pale in comparison to the enormity of this job."

"We've been working between nine to 12 hours a day since I started Saturday. It's the most fun I've had," said Mr. Forester, who volunteers in costuming for Chattanooga Little Theatre and Encore Theatre.

Staff Photo by Angela Lewis

Tammy Ingram, right, and Jessie Knowles paint shoes that will be worn by Dr. Doolittle performers. The national tour of the production begins at the Tivoli on Friday.

"This is one of the most fantastic projects we've done," said Carol Dill. "Not only is there Tommy Tune starring in the show, but the costumes are the best of the best. I did a hat Friday that took seven hours."

Ms. Dill said Mr. Tune frequently comes into the lobby to see how work is progressing, stops to talk with them and compliment their work.

"He's very nice, very personable," she said.

According to Becky Braddock, IATSE steward, the wardrobe crew is just one area in which Chattanoogans are behind the scenes.

"We have 14 electricians, 16 carpenters, four in props, four in sound, two in hair, two runners and two transporters, who transport things to Memorial Auditorium where the musicians are rehearsing," Ms. Braddock listed. She said not all will remain through Saturday night's production, about 35 will be retained to supplement the show's traveling crew.

Ms. Braddock said that although the musical ends Saturday, they'll work straight through into Sunday night helping break down and load the show, then restoring the house in preparation for next week's events

that's another one to check off the list

Recently I made a doll for my friend Miranda, and at the time it was a just because we're friends doll, but I when I learned it was her birthday, well it turned into a birthday present. I've never considered myself very good at anything artistic, but something changed in the process of making this doll. I couldn't find a doll pattern that I liked, but I did have a bear pattern that I found at a used book store and with some modification, turned it into a very passible doll. I modified a pattern. Me. The person who can't draw two sides of a heart to match. Oh, and after I attached her head I realized she needed hair or something, so I made a bonnet for her. Yes, with no pattern, I made it up right on the spot. I was so thrilled that I actually was able to do something like this, that I have a renewed confidence in my ability to be artistic. To actually take a flat piece of material, a length of thread, and a few buttons and make something so beautiful is something I always wanted to do. I never thought I would be comfortable enough with a sewing machine to do any more than a straight line on a scrap piece of material. So, now I can check that off my accomplishment list. Yes, it may not be a legit accomplishment for some people, or even on their list, but for me being in a family that is very craft oriented, it was huge. I only wish my Nana could see how far I've come.

So anyway here's some pictures of Miranda's birthday doll:


the back of her head showing the very stylish bonnet

words

geez, it's been so long since I posted here I feel embarrassed to even give an update.
I just finished doing "Our Town" at TVT on Sunday, with an encore performance for the highschool this very morning. It was really the easiest play I've done so far, and I think that it has a lot to do with the director. He's one of those no-nonsense people, and in truth I was actually kind of afraid of him, well, at least I didn't want to upset him. Now it's over and it's back to the task of finding a job, which is in reality a never-ending task it turns out.

This is not where I wanted to be at this point in my life, and every time I turn around it seems like I'm screwing it up even more. I know I need to turn everything over to God, and just let him guide me. I feel like I've dug myself so deep into the mire that he can never lift me out, and the mud (sin) is holding me tight and sucks me back down when I try to break free. I hate that feeling. Sorry I didn't have a more upbeat post. Sometimes you just gotta let the words come out.

how weird is this?

I was looking at post secret to day and ran across this secret:


Why is this one different from the others? Because we have every piece of wrapping paper that is under that tree, exactly. The first thing I did was call my sister and ask her if she had mailed in a secret. She said no, she thought it might be me. The hand writing is neither of ours, but it is just really freaky that somebody out there has the exact same combination of Christmas paper as me. If it wasn't for the white wall behind the tree, it could seriously be my house. Even the carpet is the same. wooooooo spoooooky!

You can find the whole post here but it only goes from Sunday to Sunday, so it will change next week:
http://postsecret.blogspot.com/

Saturday Six

1. How many Christmas Cards did you receive from people you hadn't sent cards to, after the "mailing deadline?" Did you send a card anyway? 4, nope if you didn't get one by now, you'll have to wait until next year

2. At this point, do you weigh more or less than you did on January 1, 2006? Is that a good thing or a bad thing? more, baaaaaad thing

3. When the clock strikes Midnight on New Year's, will you be at home, at a party, or somewhere else? probaly at home, but maybe at a party

4. Take the quiz: What's your holiday stress level?

Your Holiday Stress Level is Moderate

The holidays sometimes stress you out, but mostly because they wear you down. Take it easy! You can have a fun holiday without running yourself ragged.

What's Your Holiday Stress Level?

5. Have you ever been the designated driver at a party or outing with your friends? yes, for a friend's birthday

6. Have you ever taken the keys and driven home a friend that you felt was too drunk to drive? If not, do you think you would attempt to if that situation ever arose? no, but I have followed someone who was taking a drunk person home; yes, I would most definately drive any of my friends home if they were drunk

blah....

as christmas fast approaches I find myself sinking into a place that feels really weird. The more I hear about Christmas, the more I want to run the other way. I am despising all things jolly, and just turning away like a broken animal when someone mentions trees or presents or dinners. I don't understand why, when I should be celebrating the birth of my Savior, all I can do is throw the covers over my head and wish it would go away. I gotta do something about it, but then my bed would get lonely without me in it.

i'm excited

Don't you just love my new layout?!!! It is so awesome! I wanted to go for a winter/Christmas theme, but then I found this and it is just so much better than anything I've found. so woo, that's all.

just a few names you can call me

I got this from Myspace, but I thought it was funny so I'm sharing it here............

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet & current street name)
Duchess Jackson

2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (fav icecream flavor, favorite cookie)
Chunky Monkey Shortbread

3. YOUR "FLY Guy/Girl" NAME: (first initial of first name, last three letters of your last name)
L-Ker

4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal)
Blue Kitty

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born)
Michele Burbank

6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first)
Barle

7. SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite drink put "The")
The Pink Pepsi

8. NASCAR NAME: (the first names of your grandfathers)
Asa ( I only know my maternal grandfathers name)

9. STRIPPER NAME: (the name of your favorite perfume, cologne, favorite candy)
Peony Peeps

10. WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother & father's middle name):
Elaine Franklin

wow it's been a while

Happy late Thanksgiving. I am so addicted to MySpace it's not even funny. So while I'm checking for comments and messages 10 times a day, I've ignored my original blog that I grew so fond of in the beginning. I feel guilty for not updating more, yet I have nothing to update. Basically I stay at home because I have no job, I never go anywhere because I have no money, and that makes me not want to do anything because I feel crappy. So before I get a lecture on getting out and trying, let me just say that I have been looking for a job, almost every day. It seems that nowadays you can't just go to a place and say I want to apply for a job, no no. You have to apply online, but your application doesn't go to that particular business, it goes to the corporate offices where they decide whether or not you're qualified. So you can't call the place to check on the status of the application because they have no clue what the actual status is.
I don't need people telling me how I'm not trying hard enough, I hear it every day. I don't want your opinion on how I'm being too picky, or how I'm not choosing the right places to apply. I don't want criticism disguised as sarcastic positive messages, but I will accept support, prayers, and other positive words, because I am almost at the end of my rope and it's quickly fraying on the end.

ladybugs!!!!

It seems we're being invaded by ladybugs. I mean they are everywhere you look. I don't personally have any at my house, but I've seen them at other people's houses that I know. So I decided to change my blog to pay homage to the ladybugs. I've been wanting to change for a while now, but I've just been too lazy to do it.

On a stranger note, we've been going through cat food like crazy, and wondering why the kittens are eating so much. Oh, because we have 3 kittens now. One just kinda showed up. A stray. That we swear we're not keeping. We named her Lola. Yeah.
So, the food was disappearing super fast, and the cups that we were using in the food bag kept getting broken. Tonight we found out why. Lost had just ended (it was great, by the way), and about 5 seconds later I hear mama yelling at me from the kitchen to come and look at something. She goes I know why the cat food is going so fast, look outside on the table and tell me what you see. I looked. I said I didn't see anything. Mama says, don't you see that POSSUM sitting on the table? A freakin' possum!!! I have never been that close to a live possum before. It was kinda scary. So great, now we have to find a way to get rid of it. I can't wait.

posting is no fun anymore

I don't post much on here anymore I guess because I have a MySpace account and well, I'm just not doing much of anything right now. It's hard to get motivated these days to do anything that requires energy. So, I'll still try to get on here when I can, but check out my myspace page if you wanna. You don't hafta.

I gotta stop taking quizzes

Your Element Is Air

You dislike conflict, and you've been able to rise above the angst of the world. And when things don't go your way, you know they'll blow over quickly. Easygoing, you tend to find joy from the simple things in life. You roll with the punches, and as a result, your life is light and cheerful. You find it easy to adapt to most situations, and you're an open person. With you, what you see is what you get... and people love that!

What's Your Element?

who knew I was such a hick?

Your Hillbilly Name Is...

Molly Sue Tractor

Hillbilly Name Generator

Random commercials I've seen

I was watching tv the other day and a Dominoe's pizza commercial came on advertising their new brownie bites. So I was totally surprised that the delivery guy was Brighton from The Nanny. All I could think was boy he has been reduced to pizza commercials. I don't know why it shocked me so much, but it did, okay?!

Anyways, then I saw one for Dairy Queen, where there's a newswoman that comes in with "the new mint moo-latte" and then the guy takes it away so she says the first story is that he wears a hair weave and then rips his hair off. That is hilarious!

there's another one, but I can't think what it is right now. Hmmm...oh well

he was supposed to be there

Everyone is having memorials about 9/11 and I wanted to post this yesterday but ended up letting the day slip by.

You will never forget where you were or what you were doing that day when you heard that a plane had hit the towers. I was driving to work when it came over the radio, and at the time I just thought it was a random accident, a stray plane that had gone off-course. When they told me it was an attack on the U.S. I thought it was a joke, who would attack us? As they replayed the details over and over I thought, who can stand to listen to this all day long? I didn't realize how much it would change the way I look at life, or how close I came to losing a friend.

Mark was a musician who had been accepted to study with some of the best voice teachers in New York. He wasn't just any kind of musician, he was a male soprano. They are very rare I'm told, and his gift was far beyond what I had ever seen or heard. When he sang, his voice soared high into notes I can only dream about hitting, and it was almost like an angel singing. With his wife and two children staying in Tennessee, he moved to New York to pursue his dream of singing opera. I didn't stay in contact with him much during that time, but I kept him in my prayers and thought of him often.

Soon he wrote me an email saying he was driving down for a visit in August, and he wanted to make sure I was going to come and catch up while he was in town. I kept saying that I was going to come visit him, that we would go to Dollywood and watch for meteors at Clingman's Dome, but time got away from me, as it has a tendency to do. Soon it was time for him to go back to New York, and I hadn't once gone to visit him. I was a little disappointed, but didn't think much of it because we still had email.

Then September 11 happened and everything stopped. I didn't learned until months later that he was supposed to go back the week before; that if he had left when he was supposed to, he would have been inside the towers waiting to start his day and probably would not have made it out alive. He was supposed to be there that day.

He went back to finish his studies, but now lives in his home state of Louisiana. I'll never know how much courage it took for him to go back there and see what his fate might have been. I thank God for sparing his life every time I think of that day, and for a crappy rental car that wouldn't start. I know without a doubt that my God, my savior Jesus Christ, saved Mark's life that day for a reason, that everything that happened that day was for a reason. It may not seem fair or make any sense at all, but life's not fair now is it.
Everyone knows someone that was affected by the tragedy that happened that day. Everyone has a story. This is mine, actually Mark's, so thanks for listening.

she came back

Carla is home. Actually she came back that night, I've just been lazy and not posting. I went out around 12 to call her and she came running up on the porch meowing so I was relieved. Her claws were worn down and split and she had a cut on her lip, so I don't know what happened, but something obviously did. She's been staying close to us now every time we go out and work in the yard. woo!

I came home from church tonight to find out my kitty Carla is missing. She was here this morning, and now she's gone. It was too dark to look when I got home, but I'll be out all day tomorrow looking for her. I don't know what could have happened, but connie is going bananas because she has no one to play with. I really hope she's not gone for good, that would be a sad, sad day.

So tonight I'm sad, annoyed (for other reasons), and just fed up with everything. I just want to run far far away.

Glad news , sad news

My momsy works at Raccoon Mountain as a "tour guide" (they don't really give tours) but anyway, they have two randomly chosen people work together, and when she told me who she worked with yesterday, well it was interesting. Anyone who's ever watched Saved By the Bell knows who Mr. Belding is. Well my mama worked with his dad yesterday. That's right folks, my mama knows Mr. Belding's (oh ok, Dennis Haskins) dad.

And hey, I got a myspace account, so now I can be connected with all the people I see almost every day anyway. hehe. ok ok here's the link www.myspace.com/leiaspeia

That was the glad news.

Sad news is one of my friends is very sick and I don't know what to do about visiting him. He has Cystic Fibrosis, and the life expectancy is 30 or so, and he just turned 31 in July. I heard tonight that he's been on a home IV and his brother (who also has CF) is also pretty bad. I'm sick with worry and sadness because the last time we spoke I sorta told him that I wanted to be more than friends and he never called me back, so I don't know where I stand. I don't want him to die and never know what he really thought about the way things are. So now my heart is breaking at the thought of him leaving me, when I never really had him in the first place. It seems like the last 6 years we have been running into each other, spending one or two weeks hanging out, then I don't hear from him until a year has gone by and I bump into him again. This just sucks a big fat one because I don't know what to do. waaaahhh

Connie, Carla, and Kitty, Oh my!

I knew it!

Your Band Name is:

The Bionic Poodles

Band Name Generator

spandex and stuff

So, two things....First, I realized that I haven't followed up on the whole audition thing. Well, I haven't heard anything from them so I guess they don't want me. It's sad really but I'm probably better off not getting my stage dreams crushed.

Second, I went to see "Mamma Mia" today! It was so awesome and funny! I've decided that I need a spandex outfit like they were wearing, as I am going to be a super hero for Halloween this year. Yes, you heard right, ha ha let's move on. I knew the basic story, and I have the soundtrack, but just seeing it as a whole let me understand it more and now when I listen to my CD I can see the guys wearing scuba suits and flippers and dancing around like dorks. Yeah yeah yeah.

Just a question

When is the man of my dreams gonna walk in to wake me up?

Random life lessons

Always park as close as possible to a buggy return at Walmart. Thay way you don't look stupid wandering around trying to find one.

Just because it's on clearance doesn't mean you have to buy it.

Don't laugh with powdered doughnuts in your mouth.

Double D's do not look good in tops that criss-cross in front, no matter how expensive or fashionable they may seem.

Just because a movie is rated PG-13 does not mean it's not scary.

If it shows belly fat, spare everyone the pain and don't wear it, in fact just throw it away.

Don't eat Mexican food after you've had a stomach virus.

Thrift stores are the coolest places on earth.

Talent Agency?

Last night I drove and hour and fifteen minutes to Chattanooga to audition for a Christian theater group, so I was prepared to read cold from the script and maybe sing a song if called to do so, but when I got to the place it was a talent agency who had joined forces with the theater to recruit new talent for their upcoming season. Talk about pressure! There were 5 other "young people" there and compared to them I looked like Gigantron. Anyway, so the thear guy says ok, you've all been preparing something all week and now we're gonna hear it. Ok, I got the call on Tuesday, and this is Wednesday, so I don't think I had quite as much time as the others, but I faked it well. I got up there, sang my (acapella) song, and then the talent guy asked if I could read from a script if he gave me one. I said sure, so 10 minutes later I was back up there reading in what I hoped was a very southern accent, which apparently, was pretty good, at least that's what they said. Then the theater guy said "ok well we need to get head shots"...wait...what? I'm not ready, no wait, head shots? what? I got a big zit on my forehead! NO! But I got my picture taken anyway, which is not my favorite cup of tea, and he said ok now give me that intense look you had while you were reading, and I was like, I don't know what you're talking about, so he said just smile. OK. I went through all of this and it turns out it's only voluntary, we don't get paid, so I would have to drive an hour and a half to not get paid. And so now I'm hoping they won't call, but on the other hand I want them to call because then I'll know that I had a good audition and they actually want me. I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

Relentless weekend

This is two days late, I know, but this weekend I went to a dance workshop in Pigeon Forge that was so awesome. It was put together by a Christian dance and drama group called Relentless, and they go to different churches and do dances to Christian/Gospel music as a ministry and hold workshops like the one this weekend to teach kids these dances. I don't want to label these dances as interpretive, but that's what it's like, or at least the best way I know to describe it. It was me, two sisters, and a family with 3 kids that went, so there wasn't that many but it was still fun. So this was our youth group's chance to learn some dances to take back to the church, have some fun, and fellowship with other youth who already have their dance groups established. We've been trying to get a group together but have had little interest, but I think for the kids that went, we learned a lot and maybe with what we did learn there we can spark a little interest.

So anyway, Friday night we watched several different dance groups perform and had a time of worship with the church band. There was a group from Texas who just absolutely blew me away with their dedication and spirit-filled dances. There was also a group from Florida who call themselves DoMao, and they did a couple of awesome songs too. There was also a mime who did a Kirk Franklin song from the Rock Opera Hero.

Saturday was the actual workshop and I had decided that I wasn't going to learn any dances, just sit and watch, but the boy from the family that was with us wanted to do mime so his dad went with him and then one his sisters decided to go watch and wanted me to come with her so guess what I got to learn some mime. It was really not bad until they told us we had to get up in front of everyone and do our dance.

Basically, it was a time of worship, learning, and fellowship all wrapped up in a nifty little package. I realize as I'm reading back that I'm totally rambling and repeating myself, I can't seem to focus on one thing to get my thoughts straight so I'm going now. Bye-bye.

Daddy long legs on my head

So I was walking through the kitchen the other day and as I passed the fridge I looked up and saw this daddy long legs just sitting there happy as you please. How funny is that? There seems to be an abundance of them this year. I can pretty much guarantee that a shot like this won't happen again any time soon. I just happened to be in the right place at the right time.

a long but deep post

Ah, I thought highschool was going to be the toughest time of my life, but I was wrong! Sometimes I think it would be better to go back to highschool and refocus my thinking and care more about my future.

I'm cleaning houses for a living right now, and it seems my life is just in a big fat depressing rut. When I read blogs like my friend Tabitha's it makes me realize how far away from God I truly am. When I think I'm ok I get a big slap in the face reminding me how not ok I am and then that makes me feel ashamed for not doing what I was called to do and sad because I don't know how to get back on track. Conviction is harsh.

I've really been struggling lately with some issues like am I really saved and if I am why don't I feel any different. Now I'm not saying that I never accepted Jesus Christ into my life, because I did, I'm saying that maybe I was believing the wrong thing all these years. I knew that if you believe in God, believe that Jesus died for my sins and arose on the third day, and did not sin, then that was all you needed to get into heaven. Now I know that's not enough. You have to have a personal relationship with Jesus; and although I know this, I mean I truly know and believe this, I can't seem to do it. I can't discipline myself to read my Bible and spend time in prayer every day, and that scares me. We had a children's service one Sunday a while back and part of the speaker's sermon was a story of a preacher who was dying and he was on his bed screaming about the flames coming up around his legs and everyone in that hospital room knew what was happening. He was going to hell. A preacher, a man of God. That scared the crap out of me. If that happened to a preacher who knew the word of God inside and out and who probably led other people to God, then what's going to happen to me? I sure don't want to have a false belief and convince myself that what I'm doing is enough when it's never enough. You can never do enough for God, because he gave us the breath in our lungs and he can take it away in half a heartbeat.

So all this and more is going on in my head and heartache is filling me to overflow, when I found some comfort in a passage from a book I'm reading called "How to Talk About Jesus Without Freaking Out" by Jim and Karen Covell and Victorya Michaels Rogers that says there should be three parts to your testimony: Before Christ (B.C.), Meeting Christ (year zero), and After Christ (A.D.) OK the part that got me was this: "Year Zero is the time you met Christ and consciously chose to follow Him-the moment of your conversion." So I am saved, it's just that all the time since I accepted Christ has been wasted on who knows what kind of unimportant crap that at the time I thought was the most important thing in the world. I've been asleep for 24 years and am just now waking up to look back on how much I've missed. I can hardly bear the thought of how many chances I've missed to do God's work. I just realized that it's a shocker that I should find comfort in a book that's not the Bible, but yes folks I did, sometimes that happens.

I always think that I don't have a good testimony because I grew up in a Christian home, never did drugs or smoked, never got into trouble at school (ok there was that paddling in Kindergarten but that wasn't my fault, honestly! ok it might have been, I didn't like nap time), and was so shy that I cried at the drop of a hat. Truly, up until after college, you could not get me to talk in front of any type of crowd or to talk to people I didn't know. But because of God I am standing in front of kids making a complete and total idiot out of myself, singing and praising the God who gave me the courage to do it, and not caring who sees me because I know it's all for Him.

Wow, this is a really long post but I feel better getting it out. I've been moping around telling myself that nobody wants to hear my problems because they have their own, but that was Satan whispering in my ear and preying on my weakness. God gave me the strength tonight to break down that wall of self pity, and showed me that Jesus is my life and to find joy and comfort in Him.

PS
If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all. For real, I'm sensitive and I take well meaning but uninformed advice as snide comments against me. Just so ya know.

Trees and hard work

We planted some hostas and bushes Thursday and while we were diggin my kitties decided to explore the closest Dogwood tree. They went all the way to the tip of the skinniest limb and I swear I thought a couple of times I was gonna have smashed cats. Carla jumped out before I could get batteries in my camera, but Connie decided to take a nap in the crook of the limbs. I finally got Connie down by coaxing her to the tip of a limb and then grabbing the limb and pulling it down until I could reach her. For some reason I can't get my pictures to upload so I guess I'll just wait until later to post those. *sigh* oh well.

Connie and Carla

I have two new kitties!

Meet Connie:


And Carla:


Originally they were Stella and Daisy but my mother decided we should name them for the movie we all love so much. Connie and Carla. Go rent it today.