apologies all around

OK, I feel very out of control at the moment so I just want to say I'm sorry to Claire for coming off as snippy or short. I promise I was not trying to be. Let's just all be happy unassuming people again and go along our merry way. My motto is "I smile because I have no idea what's going on". I find that if you act dumb nobody expects you to do much. Doh!...I gave away my secret!

Moving on...

I finally got some pictures of my treasures from the other day and here they are:


These shoe are so awesome! They say "Salvadore Ferragamo France" and then "made in Italy". Yes, that would be the bright orange price sticker on the inside.



My wonderful blue and white toboggan I can't wait to wear. I hope it gets colder soon.

Touche!

I must clear up something that I posted last might. When I said I tell stories between songs, it was a joke! I was soooo joking. I'm one of the few cast members who actually knows what going on! Sorry for any confusion that might have popped up concerning my concentrating abilities. Cheese and crackers, I guess my humor is lost on all but the chosen few.

And...

Ok, I know I said I'd put up pictures but tonight I get to go see Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat for FREEEEEEE! So how can I pass that up? No, I didn't have time during the day because I was gone all day and got home around 4 and well I just don't feel like it.


Other than that, have a nice day!

Annoyed Much?

Tonight at play practice a couple of people were being less than pleasant and that put everyone on edge. You could cut the tension with a knife. There was too much negativity man and it was bringing me down. There seems to be a conflict between one of the actors and...well, everyone else. So tonight the director was in a mood and snapped everyone's head off because we apparently weren't doing enough concentrating. Can I help it if I have lots of stories to tell and the only time I get to tell them is between songs? But really, this woman (let's call her J) is becoming very annoying which is affecting the show.

In other news, I went to 2 thrift stores today and got some good shtuff. In the first one I picked up a needlepoint picture frame, a cute bunny and a very cute pair of shoes. Pictures tomorrow, I promise.

In the second store I racked up with an awesome blue and white toboggan, a vintage blue and pink lace house coat, a cute little baby sweater that says hello on the front and goodbye on the back, and even thought I don't have any childrens it was too cute to pass up, a cool old book o' beauty, and a little Christmas ornament that I hope is old but I don't care it's still cute. Really, I'll have pictures tomorrow.

That's it for tonight. Oh, and I still need a job.

New look!

AAAAHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
I love this template and I'm so happy I got it to work. At least I hope it's working. I don't have good luck with html. It's a cool retro blue and I am really into retro right now. yahooooo!

ok..ttfn *happy dance to bed*

I'm a slug

I'm a big lazy anti-goody-two-shoes. But today I have updates! I spent today with my mumsy and seester in Pigeon Forge shopping and taking stupid pitures of each other. I'll put some of those on my photo blog. Oh, and your gonna love this. We had just gotten through Rockwood when this fire engine came up behind us and zoomed passed us like we were standing still and we were like ooo I wonder where it's going. About five minutes later my sister gets a call from her niece saying that a fire truck was coming to her house because they had set a brush pile on fire and somebody had reported it. We got to her house and there was her sister-in-law spraying the towering blaze with water while the men and several other various vehicles were parked in the driveway watching. They had gotten a permit, but some nosey blankety-blank had called it in because that's what you do around here when you get bored. Woo there's a fire, Mildred go get the lawn chairs and a coupla brewskys...oh and bring the video camera! We may wanna show this to the grandkids later on. Anyhow they got everything settled and nobody got in trouble or hurt. :D

If you haven't noticed I put a new picture on my profile. It's the most decent and normal one I could find in my files, although I do look a little glowy-eyed demon-ish. I'll see if I can dig up a better one.

Can I just say how sad it is when you spend your Friday evenings at home and the highlight of the whole night is the Capitol One commercial where the vikings are finding new jobs and going trick-or-treating? Yep, that would be my life.

Uhmm...play practice is going....swell. We open the first weekend in December and I haven't really gotten into the swing of practice yet. Usually I'm the one who's running lines constantly and trying to be perfect with the stage directions, but I just don't care at this point. Gee, I hope that doesn't have any affect on my performance.

Ok. well I'm going over to the other site to post some pictures now. I don't like this template so I'm gonna try to find another one. Hmm, that shouldn't be too hard. HA!

I just realized that I have pictures of Louisiana and I should share them with others. So instead of uploading them all I've put them on Flickr. Here's the link

They're not that awesome because I didn't get much of a chance to take pictures, that pesky work kept taking my time. Honestly, we worked from sun-up until about 5 or 6, but it was a rare chance I got to actually take time to run to the van, get my camera, and snap a quick picture or two.

So here ya go, I have to go watch House Hunters now. I'm a dork, shut up.

I have a photoblog!

Hurray! So I finally opened a new place to view my pictures for anyone that's interested.

I decided to call it Picture Me This. I don't know why, it doesn't really make sense, but it sounds good.

I hope you enjoy seeing the world through my little eyeballs. It's not Ansel Adams, but life would be boring if everyone was the same, no?

new....uh.....news

A few updates for ya:

I'm getting emails almost every day asking for chain saw groups and feeding groups to go to LA and now Florida for clean up and it frustrates me so much because I can't go unless there's a team willing to take me with them, and since I have no experience with a chainsaw, well I'm stuck. I suppose I could go down there myself and say here I am, put me where you want me, but that makes me feel like I'm barging in. What to do, what to do? Oh yeah, and I still need a job.

TVT has started rehearsal for their Christmas play, Nuncrackers, and *ta-da* I'm in it. I will be reviving my role as Sister Robert Anne and singing my little heart out with the other girls that are stepping back into their characters. We had our first real rehearsal tonight and won't meet again until next Monday, so I'm already getting to the GRRRRRR stage and we just started.

My sister got the soundtrack to "Wicked" today and it's awesome. I've already listened to it once through, and I have a feeling I'll soon have it memorized.

And the last thing. I'm not gonna put any more pictures on this blog, but I'm going to start a photo blog. I may put one up just to emphasize a point or something, but for the most part I think the words and the pictures take away from each other. So check back for the link.

That's about it. Have a good night.

home again

I got home Saturday, but let me tell you I've been catching up on my sleep, so forgive the delay in posting. It seems like I've been in another world for the past week. Time in Louisiana seemed to be absent for the people who work tirelessly and constantly for those who have lost everything. I ended up working with a chainsaw group, not the feeding unit like I expected, but it turned out better that way. I felt like I was doing more to help people. I really had no concept of time while I was dragging limbs and logs larger than myself across the yards of houses that had their roofs caved in, siding blown everywhere, and powerlines hanging down.

I was in a town called Sulphur, one of the hardest hit in that area, and before I got there I really didn't know what to expect. I kind of thought it would be a small town like mine, with 2 red lights and not much else. It turned out to be quite large, and much more than I expected. There wasn't any flooding, mostly wind damage and leaking from holes in the roofs, but some people still lost everything. There were houses that had so much damage from trees and right beside them the neighboring house would be untouched, no trees down or anything. The week before we got there the town had a curfew of 6 pm, fortunately that was lifted by the time we got there, but most businesses still closed before it got dark. Wal Mart closed at 3 and had lines to get in the store. That to me is amazing, that you have to stand in line just to get inside the Wal Mart.

We stayed in the gym at Maplewood First Baptist Church,taking our meals and sleeping in the same space. Let me tell ya that it's not fun waking up and seeing people staring at you while they're in line for breakfast. I didn't watch TV the whole time I was there, mostly because there wasn't one, and we worked all day clearing trees and brush only stopping for a short lunch. By the time we finished all I wanted to do was take a shower and go to sleep. Tylenol PM was my best friend. We completed 10 houses in the week we were there, but there's so much more to do and not enough people to do it. New volunteers from the Tenn. Baptist Convention Disaster Relief come every day or so, but even with groups working nonstop, the jobs never seem to get smaller. The day we left there were still over 1,000 job requests from people that couldn't afford to pay to have trees removed, and were relying on the kindness of volunteers they had never met before.

Friday they closed the feeding unit for the public, claiming that the numbers were going down and that meant things were getting back to normal. The number of people fed on Monday was over 8,000 and by Thursday it was 4,000 something, so yeah, it was time. Normal for these people will be a long time coming, but it's a step in the right direction now that they have power.

I left Saturday with mixed emotions. I wanted to stay and help as much as I could, and stay in this world simplified by disaster, but yet I wanted to go home and escape from the tragedy and destruction that was left in the wake of the storm. Hopefully I'll go back, but for now I just have to get on with life in Tennessee.

Leia called me tonight at 9:35 ish to let me know that she had gotten there safely. These are her words, sort of...at least this is what she told me to write. Lol. Okay, so it took them 14 hours to get there, and on the way they stopped at Burger King, and she got a chicken sandwich that wasn't even cooked. She didn't eat it. But, once they got there, she said there were trees everywhere, huge trees, and huge piles of brush on the sides of the streets, higher than her head (she's 5'7), and the smell was horrid. They are staying in a gym, and she had just taken a shower when she called, and was heading to bed, because she gets to get up at 6:30 in the morning. So, that's it so far. I'm sure she'll be calling me again with something she wants me to blog for her. So...there ya go =D

Hola, Speia readers! This is her sister, and I'm just writing up a lil postie to let you know that she left this morning, having to be in Dayton at 4:00 a.m. She was not happy about that, believe you me. Anyway, she will be calling me from time to time, letting me know what's going on so that I may relay the messages on to you all. If you pray, please keep her in your prayers - if not, keep her in your thoughts. I worry about her too much, I suppose. :)

Today I've realized quite a few things. First, I've been basing the success of this blog by the comments, or lack thereof. I read other people's blogs and they have like 50 comments or something like that,and I get really discouraged because I have ZERO! But then I look at my stats and I'm doing pretty darn good. I realized that I read these blogs but I never leave comments, so just because no one is commenting doesn't mean they're not reading. It does make me feel good though when I see a comment, until I discover that it's some stupid spam ad for beauty products or porn or garbage like that. My advice to myself-it takes two to make a connection.

Second, I rely too heavily on people. I seem to meet people and then attach myself to them thinking that we have some special bond and that they're gonna drop everything and help me when I ask them. In reality, I don't really know them, they don't really know me so why should they even acknowledge me, let alone stop what they're doing to help me.

I remember in college when I was first introduced to chat rooms there was this one guy I used to talk to all the time. He was fairly popular around the chat rooms that I visited, so I felt like I had a connection with him. One day I was in the school library with one of my friends chatting away when these two hoodlums came up to where the computers were and started bugging us online. They would interrupt our chats and would say really crude and derrogatory things to us, we told the librarian but she couldn't do anything abou it. Later, on another day when I was talking with this guy I told him what had happened and said I wished he would have been there to stop these guys. After that he never would talk to me and had this other girl tell me to stop talking to him, which I thought was a bit much but whatever. I was totally devastated because I didn't even know where this guy was from and I knew he couldn't have done anything about it but here he was treating me like a stalker, which I'm not, btw.

Anyway, so now I find myself trying to make connections with people based on their blogs that I read, when in reality I don't know them from Adam. I'm not a freaky stalker-type person I swear. I'm just needy.

OK, so that was only two things, but very important things. I had a third one but something freaky happened and I lost it, but I think I just needed to vent on that one and it's not important now. But if you must know I'll give you the microwave version. I had a friend, he ditched me for his fiance, and now even though we say we're friends it won't be anything more than emails and eventually nothing.

Happy?

Am I ready?

I've been trying to avoid writing simply because I don't know what to say. I'm finally getting to leave Wednesday for Louisiana to a town called Sulphur, and I'm excited but concerned about my lack of money situation. Not having a job just sucks a big fat one when you have bills. I wish I had never gotten any credit cards, and the sad part is only one of them is a major card! The rest are like department store cards that I put way too much money on for stupid things I don't even need. Play the violins for me, I'm a little whiney tonight. But hey, I'm better! I actually ate real food last night and again tonight. Mashed potatoes though they may be, at least it's not popsicles. I'll miss my popsicles. The yummy, banana-ey goodness that they are and ever will be, frozen forever in time until someone takes one out of the freezer to enjoy. Yum.

Ok, so I don't think they've restored power to Sulphur yet, so I don't know how often I'll get to post, hopefully at least once a week. I'm thinking about using my sister as a liason to the blog. My plan is to call her on the cell, relay my thoughts while she types it on here. I think it will work. Now I just have to tell her. hee hee.

New Look

I was trying to put up a new template here but I couldn't get the one I wanted so I just got really frustrated and went with one from blogger. But I like pink so I guess this is ok. I had everything working last night but I checked it today and all I get is a white screen. GRRRRRRRRRRR.

I've been sick since last Thursday so I haven't had much energy to update or anything. To summarize, I went to the Dr. Friday because every time I tried to swallow food or drink my chest hurt horribly, had a high (103) fever and ended up in the ER Saturday, told I had bronchitis, went back to the Dr. Tuesday for him to tell me I have a totally different thing wrong and gave me more meds.

So I haven't eaten anything solid since friday. Been livin' on yogurt and banana popsicles. My jeans fit better. That's about the only thing good that's come of this.

So as it turns out, I did get to watch the season premier of "Lost" because I'm still at home and still waiting for the word from *somebody* that it's ok to head south. I did get an email asking for volunteers to clean out mud so I'll have to get in contact with my "lead person" and see when we can leave. Woo!

I have the need to tell this story...so the other day I went to Sonic with my sister and ordered a bacon cheese burger with NO mayonaise. I hate mayo. Well, except in potato and macaroni salad, but you don't really know it's there. Back to the story. When the guy who took my order repeated it back to me, he said no mayo. When the girl brought it out to me she said no mayo. When I opened it up, what do you think was on the freakin bread? MAYO!!!!! Oh my goodness, what is so hard about just listening? That really annoys me that people who are paid to listen to details don't actually take the time to do it. *This is my vent session so just don't get all fired up now.*

We were sitting there thinking of ways to retaliate which included me going up to the window and smacking the bread up against it and yelling "I said no mayo!" which then turned into me writing with the greasy nasty bun "no mayo" across the window. Of course I didn't do any of that. I just wiped the nasty stuff off into the bag along with my lettuce and sat there whining whilst I ate my sandwich. Because that's what I do. I don't have the guts to actually tell someone they messed up. Well, someone I don't know. hehehe

It wasn't even that good.

still waiting

I got my tetanus shot today! For free!!!!! I was going to go to the doctor's office, but when I found out how much the office visit cost plus what the shot was going to cost, I called the health department. It was waaaay cheaper to go there so off I went and when I got there and told them I was going to be a relief worker, they said "no charge". So a big fat thank you to the Rhea County health department.

I'm still waiting for the word that we're good to go, so I've had lots of time to think about why I'm doing this, what I'm going to miss, and how much this means to me.

I'm going to Louisiana because Jesus has called us to go into the world, teaching God's word and helping those who need it. I can't think of any better chance than this to show the love of Jesus to people who have lost everything.

As the new fall season of TV begins I realize that I'm going to miss the second season of Lost! waaahh. I realized this when I saw a preview for it the other day. I'm going to rely heavily on my mumsy to record it for me. I'm also going to miss sleep. I'm a lazy butt who likes to sleep late, and fortunately all my previous jobs have allowed me to do exactly that. But I'm thinkin' that down there, time will be absent and I'll sleep when I can get a chance.

I also paid off my car today. I owed less than $1000 so I figured if I paid it off, that would be one less payment to worry about. Instead, I get to pay on my card for 500 years. But I own my car now! I told my sister that now the engine will probably fall out or something like that, just so it could be spiteful and laugh in my face.

Not much else going on. I'm very boring when I don't have a job. Sorry.

again?

While I wait to hear from the disaster relief team I'm helping out at the daycare where I used to work. But not today. Today I'm home with a swollen and bruised ankle because I've hurt it yet again. I was at the daycare yesterday trying to get this one little girl to stop crying and I went over to her mat (it was nap time) and picked up her blanket so I could move her to another area. Now this particular daycare is run out of a very old home with hard wood floors. I had the blanket in my hands, tripped over a chair, stepped on the blanket and slid across the floor landing with my right foot underneath me. Oh, the pain! So immediately there was a knot on the top of my foot and it felt like someone shot fire right into my ankle. So here I am, with my foot propped up and pain meds coarsing through my system. yay pain meds!

I thought I would just share that with you, sos that I could get some sympathy. I would really like to figure out how to get my comments working but I'm not at all proficient with html coding. If anybody would like to tell me how (Jenn-if your reading :D) I would really appreciate it. My email is on the left side there.

So I leave you wtih this parting shot taken Labor Day whilst playing dominoes.

my training is complete!

So today I woke up at 5:30 and drove for 2 hours for the disaster relief training so I can go down to Louisiana as soon as possible. It was a long day.
I got to hear all about how many people their feeding units can feed in a day and what to bring with me. Then after lunch I learned how to shingle a roof. Not really but I have written directions and I have a card that says I'm qualified to help repair a roof in the event of a disaster.

I read today's Waiter Rant post and I feel so disheartened because up until a couple of years ago I was just concerned with my own little network of people and my secure little life. I forget that there are people who don't believe in God and actually hate God and Jesus. I never really sat down and thought about the world outside of Rhea County, but now the carefully built walls of my safe world are being torn down chunks at a time by all the heartbreak, disaster, betrayal and general hatred that is being thrown at me. I was so thrilled to finally know that God's plans for me were being revealed, and I was on such a high at the thought of finally getting to do something for Him in His name and for His glory that I thought how could anything go wrong? Now Satan's trying to rip my heart out with all this sadness because he knows I'm in God's hands and he can't get to me. Satan's lies of my unworthiness and uselessness are horrible and heartbreaking. I can feel my heart twisting in my chest with the struggle that's going on inside.

Wow, I feel tons better now. This is not the direction I was going but I guess God had other plans.



"11) For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. 12) Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. 13) And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. 14) I will be found by you, says the Lord, and I will bring you back from your captivity..."

Jeremiah 29:11-14

just an update

Sorry it's been a week since my last post. I just haven't done anything since "the incident". That being my getting fired based on the lies of others. I was actually trying to wait until Saturday after the training and then I would have something exciting to tell. I've been going through some stuff in my closet, and found some awesome vintage clothes that I forgot I had. I'll try to get some pictures up of the cooler ones soon.

I've been reading some different blogs and it seem slike everyone feels the need to re-tell public information that's already been told 10 million times. I'm sorry, but unless you have information that is new or some personal experience about the hurricane tragedy,(like this site) why bother telling what everybody already knows anyway? Just my little venting session. It's over now.

I got an email from my friend Mark who lives in Louisiana telling me he was ok and I'm so glad to hear that. He sent this link of some pictures taken of the aftermath of Katrina. It's just so sad.

Well, going to bed early since I have to get up at *5:30* tomorrow. Yes, ma'am, you heard me. I haven't even hit my REM cycle at that time. But hey, I get to see the sunrise. That's a plus. Yeah, yeah, stick to that.

Today I got the call I thought I would have to wait a long time for. Next Saturday I'll be going to a town more than 2 hours away to take the disaster reief course! Woo hoo! And then I will be clear to go where ever they need me most. I honestly thought I would be waitng 2 weeks or more, but when the phone rang and it was Mr. Pickle (that's his name, I swear) telling me he got me into a FULL training class, it was just very exciting. So by Tuesday after next, possibly Wednesday, I'll be heading south. Woo. I can hardly wait!

Helping the hopeless

Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I wanted to make sure I had everything together and all my information correct. In my last post I said that God was preparing me for something big, right? So Wednesday I found out what that big thing was. I was praying on my way to church Wed. night and telling God that I really wanted to go down to Louisiana or Miss. and help the victims of Katrina, and asking for a sure sign and some comfirmation that it was what He wanted me to do. Imagine my shock and excitement when I got to church and find out that one of my friends is going down there! I immediately knew for sure that it was what God wanted and I haven't stopped thinking about it since. This is what He was preparing me for and I am so pysched!

Tonight I talked to the man from the TN Baptist Association who is putting it all together and he said that they keep changing the destination because there's so much chaos and confusion going on down there, and they don't want anyone to go that hasn't had disaster training, but he's calling people all over trying to find a class that will take us so we can leave as soon as possible because there's not that many volunteers helping and the people that are there have been working literally around the clock. He also said that there was more interest in volunteering for this disaster than there had been for Ivan last year, and he was glad that so many people wanted to help, but the problem is getting the training and finding someone to teach it.

So all I can do now is wait. Wait for training, wait for another group to go down there, and wait for God to move things along. At least I know I'm going and for a good reason, I just don't know when.

free at last

Well, it seems that I'm not up to standards with the requirements of my job, so my services are no longer needed at the hospital. I can't say it was a surprise. I actually said on Sunday that I may not have a job much longer. I'm actually somewhat relieved, I mean when I was walking out to my car it was like this big wieght just lifted out of my body. Now I know that whatever God has in store for me, it's right around the corner and He's preparing me to accept it without reservations. I'm excited, and I'm not really worried about finding another job. I trust God with everything I am, and He promises that He won't do anything to harm me.
I'm ready. Bring it on.

I just noticed that my comments and titles of the posts are gone. I'll have to figure this out later. So I guess if you want to leave a comment, well you just can't. So there.

It's so pretty!

I finally got a new template and I'm very pleased with it! I got the set at Blogfrocks, and I've had it for a while, but I could never get anything to work with the way they explained it using Angelfire. But now that they've updated the instructions and suggested new webhosting places, woo baby, I'm rocking with the cherries! I like cherries. Cherries are fun. Yay cherries.

Well, Friday and Saturday I worked lights for "Lying In State". You remember, the play that I got payed to work on. Yes, after rental fee, cleaning fee, and other various fees, we each got a whole 76 dollars and some cents. But why am I complaining, that's better than doing it for nothing. It was in a really cool refurbished movie theater called the Palace that was built a long time ago. I was gonna say the thirties, but I'm not sure. Here, lookie.


And here's me at the light board. I really don't like this picture because I'm all hunched over, and my boobs look like they're attached to my legs. The person that took the picture isn't very camera savvy. Eh, well.


Vikki was so overcome with emotion over the beautimous appearance of the theater that she had to give the otter mascot a smooch!


So, I guess everyone is commenting on hurricane Katrina, but I'm gonna choose not to simply because I really don't have anything relevant to add to the already infinite number of updates and comments and such. Except to say that they called for flash floods tonight and tomorrow in our county and surrounding areas, and this affects me because I'm in the flood zone. My house is over 100 years old, and it has never had the first drop of flood water in it, so I'm very fortunate. The theater also happens to be in the flood zone and last September when it flooded, there was 3 feet of water all through the building. They had just built a new stage too, so it was pretty devastating. They lost everything including props, costumes, cabinets, lights, everything. When the water was gone, there was at least 3 inches of mud covering everything that was under water. Not just mud, but stinky, gag a maggot, black and brown and green, sewage laced mud. Yummy.
Well, now that I've squelched your appetite, I think I'll reek havoc somewhere else.
Have a good night.

CHERRIES!!!

I'm just full of excitement this week. Tonight we went over to my aunt and uncle's lake house to have supper. My uncle's dad built a resort there, and we used to have so much fun every summer swimming there. But now it's gone and the land has been divided up and sold to rich northerners so they can bring their expensive boats here and build expensive summer houses. Ah, but I sound bitter that my childhood can be sold so easily.

Anyway, my uncle told me that Grandfather(that's what we called his dad) had bought some little boats for the resort and had paid $125 for each one and that he had one that he wanted to take out on the lake. He had just bought a new (used) motor and he wanted to try it out. So we went down to the dock (remember that I have a sprained ankle) and after much struggling since the clamp was not wide enough, got the motor on the back of the boat. We got in, started it up and got half a mile away from the dock when my uncle says "uh-oh" and then the motor dies and smoke starts pouring out of it. So he decides that it has something to do with the water pump and I should call my aunt since I have my cell phone with me. I do and she doesn't answer. I then call my mother's cell and she doesn't answer either.

Now I'm thinking I'm gonna have to jump out of the boat and swim to shore dragging the boat behind me, but my uncle sees that we're in front of his friends house so he starts paddling with the seat cushion he had thrown in there before we left. So I pick up mine and do the same. We reach the dock, tie up the boat and then have to walk back to the house, uphill. And I'm doing this with a sprained ankle.

We then get to the house and have to explain what happened, take the pontoon boat back to get the little boat, and then go back to the house. This all took place in under 30 minutes, but it seemed much longer, especially when I was hanging over the side of the boat paddling with a boat cushion.

Yep, me and my crazy exciting life. What's gonna happen next?

It's not broken

Well, I ended up going to the ER Sunday morning, waiting 1 hour for the doctor to tell me I need an xray and I'll probably be on crutches for 2 days, another 45 minutes for someone from radiology to come a get me, then another 45 minutes for the nurse to come in, put a brace on my ankle, hand me a perscription for some pain killers, tell me it's not broken and then send me home with no explanation of what's wrong with my ankle or anything. I very much dislike it when people, especially doctors, think that because they are professionals they don't have to explain what they're doing. I'm sorry, but I want to know what's going on with my body and why it hurts and what I can do to fix it.

Anyway, I can't take the medicine because it makes me sick, so I've just been taking Tylenol quick release, and they do the job just as well. And hey, I didn't have to go to work today, because well, I work in a very small file room with not much space to maneuver around in crutches, and I'm clumsy to begin with.

So now I just have to hobble around until I'm able to walk without pain, or until I go insane from not being able to do anything, whichever comes first.

I've had a busy day

Today was a very eventful day for me, considering that Saturdays are usually quiet. First, my neighbor was having a yard sale and was selling two chifferobes that belonged to the woman who owned the house while I was growing up. Miss Rhoda was her name and she was a missionary/teacher in Japan and Germany for many of my childhood years. When she was put in a nursing home her family had an estate sale and I really wanted those two pieces, but there was no way I could afford the price they had on them, and then they ended up being sold with the house. But today, they are mine!!! Well, one is mine and the other is my sister's. We decided to share. Somebody decided to put a smiley face on one of them with some kind of glue or something, and even if we take it off, the finish will come off with it so we still have a smiley face. So here are some pictures of them for your viewing pleasure.
sorry about the flash on this first one

here's the smiley face~


Next, at about 2 my sister decided that we were going swimming at the creek. So here we go, me, my sister, her husband, and his sister and her husband. The creek is really high right now because of all the rain, and I knew there was nowhere to go without getting into the current, but we found a place that had some good raipds and a shallow part to recover in. We started going down the rapids sans inner-tube and we were having so much fun. We were there for 2 1/2 hours and had gone several times, and my butt was feeling the pain of every rock I hit. Anyway, I decided to go once more, and everything waws cool until my leg turned under itself and my foot hit a rock. I felt it snap and then excruciating pain, and all I could think was I broke my stupid foot. My brother-in-law was standing downstream to catch me and as soon as I got to him I was screaming "I broke my ankle!" but we were still fighting the current so we both had to swim to the bank with me trying to stay conscious and when we finally made it to the bank, I just stood there braced against a rock saying "Oh God" not as a cuss word ya know just crying out to him to help me. So finally my sister and brother-in-law helped me out of the water and up the bank (which was not easy because there are lots of rocks)and then I crawled, yes crawled, over the roots that were between me and the grass, and then I got carried to the car piggy-back style. I desperately wanted to go to the hospital but got talked out of it, and now it's the tiniest smidgeon better, but I still can't walk or put any weight on it, and it just constantly aches, but I will definately go tomorrow if it's still swollen bad. So here's a loverly picture of how I reduced swelling.



yes, that would be broccoli florets on my ankle.

And I got a sunburn. My day is complete.

random picture of the day

Dollywood iced tea~~yummy

yes I know it's been a while. So with some prodding from a certain person who shall remain nameless, I bring you....the updated blog. Please, hold your applause while I get my thoughts together. Well, Here are the only two photos I took of the 127 yard sale, the first one is the exit we took and waited so long on to get to Jamestown (which we never got to)

and then this one I just thought was funny



I had another one with a big pink monkey sitting on a motorcycle, but somehow it got deleted.

I just finished the newest Harry Potter book last night, and it was good. I knew what was going to happen at the end because I was told, and I figured out how it was going to happen, so what should have been shocking was well, not. What was more interesting to me was what was revealed in the last chapter, but I can't say because I can't spoil it. Even though everyone who reads this has probably already read the book or doesn't care about Harry. You should. He's so all alone now.

Sorry about the randomness, but really there's not much going on. I'm going to be busy the next 2 weekends doing concessions for the next play at the theater. "Sleuth" starring...well does it really matter? It only has 2 men in the cast, so that gives me a break until Christmas when I'll be on stage once again to play Sister Robert Anne in "Nuncrackers" which I can hardly wait for. Also I guess I'll be doing lights for a revival of "Lying In State" in Crossville for two shows only...and getting paid for it. *little happy Snoopy dance*

OK, well I think I'll just dance myself over to Flikr (or however you spell it) and start a photo blog. Details later.

racin' around

Well it's been a while since I updated so here's what's going on. Well, the phone just rang in the middle of my thought process and it was the owner of the daycare where I used to work. It seems I'll be making an appearance there tomorrow morning because all of her help is either sick or out of state. Grrr...I was gonna sleep tomorrow but hey I can't turn down money, and I'm just such a nice person that she knew she could count on me.

So...Saturday was the Amazing Race at church with my youth group, and yes it was a knock off of the TV show. We had to figure out the clues though instead of just saying here go to this place, but it was so exciting. I always get nervous in competitions because I'm afraid I'll mess up horribly and be embarrassed and my team members will blame me for losing. But as it turns out, I was the driver of the winning team! I think I scared the two kids that were with me because I went a tad over the speed limit through town and around curves. Now you have to remember that I live in a two red light town where the biggest excitement is when something catches on fire and the juiciest gossip is who got arrested for making meth this week. That's really sad now that I see it written down, but that's another post entirely. Anyway, I was speeding through town and there were cops at every food place we passed, and I thought we were in second place the whole time, but we were ten minutes ahead of everybody. Yeah baby!

Also this weekend was the 127 yard sale, which is the longest yard sale each year, and it just happens to pass through Crossville which is only a 30 minute drive from my house. So off we went to the insanity that turned out to be the yard sale. We decided to go to Rockwood and up the interstate since we knew that we would never get anywhere going up the mountain. When we got to our exit, it was so backed up that we sat there for like 20 minutes. We finally got on the actual road and ended up going to only one place where there was a whole bunch of tents set up together. I bought a little brass bell with stained glass cherries on top for a whole dollar, and then we decided it was too hot so we got back in the car and headed back through the massive traffic jam until we got to some people who were selling jellies and jams, and then my sister and mother bought two jars each. Personally, I think they shoud schedule it for the fall when the weather is cooler and not so humid, but I'm not in charge of that operation, thankfully. So now I'm off to sleep since I have to be at the daycare at 7 freakin' 30. I'm such a pushover, I can never say no.

Last night I dreamed that Usher (yes the musician) was my very good friend and he was giving me directions to his new house, and my grandmother who is long passed was driving the car to get to his house but she got on some train tracks and I was trying to get her off of them onto a road to the right of us by steering from the back seat, but it didn't work and I never got to his house. Then I was in an airport with my preacher's wife and other people and kids from our church and we were trying to get the kids boarded onto the plane. Everyone got on but me and the ticket lady would not process my ticket so the plane took off without me. I was very upset; crying and kicking the posts along the line of people, and the lady just walked away to go on break. I went to find a phone and somehow ended up in the laundry room of my house. It was storming outside and the roof had holes in it and the rain was coming through but I just stood there looking at the clothes. There was dirt or cat food or something all over the floor of the kitchen, which connects to the laundry room and I started to sweep it up but it wouldn't go away and there's more I think but I don't remember it.

Now I'm sure there's a meaning in that dream somewhere so if anyone reads this and has a clue, feel free to fill me in. I think dreams are important and we need to pay attention to them. A friend I totally trust once told me that God speaks to me through my dreams, and ever since then I try to pay attention more. Granted sometimes they are just nonsense (like Usher would ever speak to me), but sometimes I think there is a lesson in them if we just know how to look for it. I try to remember my dreams and I would like to say I write them all down in my dream journal but that would be a falsehood, and I encourage people to remember theirs. I know that other people's dreams are boring to most people and I know that when I start rattling off my dreams to my friends I can see their eyes glaze over and their attention swings over to something else, but I don't care, vocalizing sometimes helps me figure it out.

Now that I have officially announced my dork status, I'll just stop talking.

my sister and me deep in character

thread the needle

I didn't like the photos I posted before of the show so I got some different ones. These are more...er...better.

So, remember a while back when I talked about the director of the play fainting, and I said I had never fainted before? Look here. Well, I can no longer say that. Last night, ok, early this morning, at like 2 AM, I got up to turn on the air and get a drink of water. I went into the kitchen and was standing at the sink drinking my water, and the next thing I remember is waking up and looking at the underside of a kitchen chair. Somehow I landed between the stove and the table without hitting anything, but I must have hit on my hiney first because my tailbone hurts very badly. This whole day all I've felt like doing was sleep, and I just feel generally lousy but hey I got out of work early. I came home and went to the mexican restaurant with my sister, and then sat in the blazing hot sun for 20 minutes while we gave her husbands uniloader thing a jump because the battery was dead. So today I've worked a total of two hours, eaten mexican food twice (I also had it for supper) and now I'm ready for bed, never never to get up again. At least until tomorrow.

"Quilters" Lizzie and Rose scene

"Quilters" Freedom quilt scene

hee hee

Your Hidden Talent

You have the natural talent of rocking the boat, thwarting the system. And while this may not seem big, it can be. It's people like you who serve as the catalysts to major cultural changes. You're just a bit behind the scenes, so no one really notices.

What's Your Hidden Talent?

I saw Charlie tonight!

Actually, he was in the Chocolate Factory, and I really went to see Johnny Depp, but the whole movie turned out to be really good. Except for the end, which I thought was kinda like they were trying too hard to be politically correct, but overall it was worth my time and money. I'll more than likely buy it when it comes out on DVD just for the oompa loompa songs. The only thing that bothered me was the way Johnny portrayed Willy Wonka. He played it a little on the psychotic side but maybe I'm just used to Gene Wilder who was excentric but still not so insane that you want to run far far away from him. With Johnny, I kinda got that. But hey, that's my opinion, and I know it doesn't count for anything so neener neener. I don't want to give anything away, so I won't, but it was a lot funnier than I thought it was going to be.

Oh, and here's the blonde moment of the day. My friend Alison came to visit me at work today to bring me some pictures of "Quilters" and her money for the shots the professional guy had taken. (which are not that good, btw). She handed me a 20 and I stuck it in my pocket. About two minutes later, my co-worker walks in with lunch and I put my hand in my pocket to get the dollar bill I thought was in there to go get a drink, and I pull out the twenty and look at it and go "Where did this twenty dollars come from?" I honestly could not remember why that was in my pocket or how it got there. Alison just looked at me and said, "honey, I just handed that to you for the pictures," and so that was the "DER" moment of the day when my true roots showed through.

Thank you, thank you very much.

Rainy Tuesday

Yep, it's been raining off and on for a while now, and all because of the hurricanes further south. It rained so hard today that I had to drive through high water across the road. But, all the rain means that the creek is full and when it calms down a bit I'm gonna get my innertube out and watch out baby! I'm goin' tubin'! woohoooooooo!

Also, tonight the church choir went to the nursing home to sing, well I should say 3 choir members and 3 non-choir members showed up since everyone else is on vacation, but anyway, we sang old hymns and those little old ladies were singing at the top of their lungs. They really like it when we sing the old songs. Mama's aunt was recently put in there, and I asked them to bring her down so she could hear, and she protested the whole time. When we were finished singing, I took her back to her room and she doesn't remember things that good so this was the conversation going down the hall.

her-Do you know where I'm going?
me- No, Alta Mae, I sure don't so we'll just cruise up and down the halls until we find your room.
her (after we find the right hall)- i know this road, I used to go down this way all the time. Have you ever been down this road?
me-no, I haven't.
her-well, that's good, I hope you never have to go down this road.
me(in my mind)-I hope I never have to go down this road either, honey.

Oh my goodness! Talk about holding back the tears. This woman who used to work her fingers to the bone on the mountain where she was born and raised has been reduced to a wheelchair, and a bed in a home where her son put her just to get her land and everything on it. It just makes you wonder how people could care so little for the person that gave you life. I'm glad I love my mommy and I'm glad she loves me.
What else is there to say?

This is Monday.

Ok, remember the thing that I was going to tell you about today? Well here it is. I put a bid on a house that the court has for sale today. It's not very big and there's not much yard, but it's cute and needs some work, and I really really want it, because that means I can finally be independant and fix it up and decorate it the way I want to! mwaaahahahahahaaaaaaaa!!! I won't know anything until August so now I just have to be patient and wait.

Also today I went to Sonic for lunch and got the new cookie dough blast which wasn't taht great but anyway, I got to work with my food, got out of the car, and thought I was gonna be smart and lock the door with the styrofoam cup because my hands were full. How wrong I was! Dummy me poked a hole in the bottom of the cup and so I had to walk through the hospital dripping ice cream down the hall. That was my true blonde moment for the day. Can we all say DER in unison?

Oh, and then I get a text message from my friend Matthew(oh yeah he's the one I was going out with, but we just decided to be friends, since we can't go two seconds without arguing) with disturbing news which I won't share since it's not my story to tell, but yeah, woo!

Then when I got the mail today there was an offer for a free picture phone if I renew my Verizon account for 2 years. I might just do that, but I don't really want to go another 2 years with a plan because I may decide to cancel it altogether and then I would have to pay. GRRRRRR decisions!

other than that my day was pretty good.

A day at Dollywood

So today my sister, my mother and I went to Dollywood with the full intention to ride every ride there. We got there, looked in a few shops, and didn't ride the first ride. It was so humid, and there were so many people there, we just decided to wait until the fall when it's cooler and there's less people. And since we have season passes, it's no big deal. So instead we went to Old Navy and the scrapbook store, where we spent way too much on nothing. I tell ya, You can lose your shirt in that store!

We did eat lunch at the Backstage restaurant, (see below photos), and can I just tell you one little incedent that happened? We were sitting there eating, ya know, and the hostess brought this guy through with his family, and he asked her if they could sit over by the window, which is not an unheard of request. She proceeds to tell him there's not a waitress working that area, so he says (very rudely) well we want to sit there so let me talk to the manager because I don't think that's too much to ask, and I don't think it's too much for a waitress to walk over there. And they did. I've never worked in the food industry, but I know that restaurants have waitresses for certain areas and I just think that it's very rude and wrong to demand that they open up an area just because you want to sit by the window. I'm sure he's used to getting exactly what he wants with no argument or backlash, and that just burns my boogers.
*SIGH*
whew...now I feel better, I'm glad I got that off my chest.
I've got more news but I'm going to wait until Monday to post on that!

my sister at the Backstage Restaurant. I took out some of the color from these two of us, I just think it looks cooler that way. I like the way the waiter walking by is blurred but the two in the background are just standing there.

me at the Backstage restaurant at Dollywood.

I think this is an awesome shot, but what do I know, right? The truck just happened to go by at the right time. You can see the towers in the background right by the sun.

The towers along the interstate in Kingston, I wanted to get them both in view, with the smaller ones seperated, but I was thinking slower than my mother was driving.

Leia Speia Cha Cha Cha

hey

geez, I just can't think of a thing to say and right now all I can think about is my *new* guy. Yes folks, this chick has found someone special. Woo hoo. I am very happy and that scares me a little. I feel guilty because all my life I've been told that I should let God be my everything, and when I do, He will give me what I ask. And that I should be excited that I have Jesus in my life, as excited as when you find a person you could fall in love with, and I never do. I try so hard to be everything God wants but I fail him miserably every time. I feel guilty because I'm excited about my guy, and want to spend every waking minute with him, but I can't even pick up my Bible and read for 20 every day for God. It breaks my heart to see how shallow I am, and I don't want to be like that, I want to do what I was called by God to do, so that people can look at me and say yep, she belongs to God, no question about it.

Wow, this is not the direction I was going in, but hey, it was good to let that out. so I guess that's all for now.

we are dorks

nice hair

Anessa thinks she's gonna drive the boat

Matt's ready for the lake

the group assemble for the cast party on the lake!

hey hey

Nothing to say, just checking in. I was outside last night watching my neighbors kids play and the mosquitos were horrible. I got my bug spray and doused everyone, including myself, but apparently I forgot my feet. So now, I have numerous bites on my right inside ankle, and on the top of my left foot. They itch like crazy, and cortizone cream only works for so long.

Hey, so I want to say a little bit about where I live which I meant to do when I started this blog, but never got around to. I have lived in East Tennessee my whole life, in a little two red light town named Spring City. It's an hour south-ish of Knoxville, and an hour north-ish of Chattanooga. I can make it to the Smokey Mountains in about 2 and a half hours, and I like to visit there a lot. If I want to see a movie or go anywhere fun I have to drive an hour, ooo but I forgot they just opened an new movie theater in Crossville and that's only 30 minutes away! They're on central time though, so that's kinda hard to adjust to. Um, they're putting a four lane through town, and we have a McDonald's now (big woo), and well, that's about it.

Just getting ready for the next weekend of performances, hopefully it will go as well as the first week. We'll see.

what a difference...

...a day makes! To quote my sister, I think we were abducted by aliens and then replaced with actors. Tonight was opening night, and we did like 200 percent better than last night. So, yippee I'm relieved, happy, thankful, um...and other happy words. I just hope we can keep it up for the rest of the shows. I'm gonna keep praying though.

I don't know........

Two important things happened tonight. First,we performed the dress rehearsal to an audience of about thirty. The first act went relatively smoothly, no major problems except the songs were so slow I swear I thought I saw someone slipping into a coma, and I'm thinking alright we're gonna be done in less than 4 hours. Then the second act happened. You would think that a director who is also in the play would know what she's doing. Especially one who made professional theater her career. Can I just say that if I was doing this show with her for the first time, I would never do theater again in my life. She got on stage and we were up there right where we were supposed to be, we finished our pretty dandelion song and then everything went to hell. Seriously. She skipped like three scenes and went straight to the end of the show, and we were standing there with nowhere to go because for the scene she was doing, we're not on stage. So we stood there going what are we supposed to do and, geez I don't even know what happened, but we were on stage looking like total idiots. I left the stage when it was over and went straight to the dressing room, changed my clothes, and sat there because I literally felt sick to my stomach. I think I won't even go to work tomorrow. hehe.
While everyone was changing she came in and started saying "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, it'll be fixed tomorrow" and then, and this is the best part, she fainted . Yes folks, the woman fainted. I just stood there. I didn't even try to help her up. I knew she was faking it. My sister knew she was faking it. Because if she had really fainted she would have hit her head on the chair that was sitting there, but she caught herself before she hit, and she recovered right away. Now, I've never fainted nor seen anyone faint, but I figure if you did, then it would take you a while to recover from it since your body has to readjust to the shock of whatever made you faint in the first place. So that happened first.

Second, and sorry I know this is probably longer than you care to read, but I have to tell this.

I get in my car where my phone is and I have a message waiting for me. Hmmm, who could be calling since my sister is at the theater with me? It would be the guy that broke my heart, calling to say that he was "looking through some of his things" and "remembering old times" and was sorry he dropped me like he did but he doesn't want to apologized to my voice mail so he would call later. And then he said "pancakes" which is an inside joke. What do I do now? Should I just try to go back and be friends again or should I say sorry you had your chance. We were so close and shared so much, and then he just vanished, and now this. I want to believe that he did it because of the remorse just eating at his insides, but I have a gnawing feeling that his mother had something to do with it. See, I had called her to ask if she would make cookies for the play, and said "you know he doesn't talk to me anymore" and she made the excuse of well he's in love and you don't think much about your friends when your in love. That is the biggest bunch of dookie I've heard in a while. But anyway, I think she's said something to him, and that makes me kinda angry that it takes her prompting him for me to get an apology out of him. He really kinda got me with the whole pancakes line because it was like yeah say a joke and then everything will be alright, but it's not. waaahhaaaa I don't know what to do!
*sniff*

two days and counting

So tonight we went through light cues which we should have done Monday, or last Friday, but anyway, and let me just say that we suck a big fat one. I think if we had a different director and a few different people that it would be a good show, but right now, two days before we open, people still don't know their lines and ya know there's only so much I can memorize before my brain starts losing important information stored in there. Kinda like Kelly on married with children when she went on some game show and they quizzed her with all kinds of info but she got to a point where one fact would go in and then she would lose one... not that I watch that show...because I don't...

But I digress. We have people coming to see the dress rehearsal tomorrow and well, I'll be praying a lot from now until the show's over. I want to say that it's gonna be ok but I just feel very unprepared, even though I know I've done everything I can to be prepared, and don't want people to come up and say oh, you were in that play that lasted 4 hours and was really baaaad.

*sigh*

the group in rehearsal 

Monday, Monday

...the second day in the week before we open. Yes folks, we suck. Practice started at 7, we didn't get started until like 7:30 and it took us until after 9 to do the first act. The first act. This is supposed to be a 2 hour show, maybe a little bit longer, and the people are going to go into comas waiting for it to be over. The elderly folks might as well just bring their living will and DNR papers with them to save the ambulance people the trouble. Seriously though, the director yells at us for taking so long to do the first act but she was the one who made us do the same scene like 6 times before moving on. So don't be yellin' at us for something you did sister!

In more pleasant news, Sunday I went to the Daily Bread, our local thrift store, for a basket to use in the show. What I found was these awesome vintage baby clothes someone had donated. I went a little insane and grabbed practically all of them, figuring that at .50 and a dollar a piece that it wouldn't be too much. Maybe $20 ya know. Well, not exactly. Try $44. Yikes! I totally feel guilty about it now, since one I have no children, and two, I could have used that to take my poor little Kitty to the vet. As soon as I can get them in the house unnoticed, I'll post some pictures of them. Right now they're still in my trunk. hehe. And maybe I can do something cool with them.

So here's the cool site of my day http://www.kao-ani.com/ which I've known about and visited for a while now to get some cool wallpapers and other cute thingies, but I kinda lost the link when I got a new computer but now I found it again and I'm so happy! Go...see...be happy

countdown to showtime

First, thank you to Jenn and anonymous (although I know who you are) for sympathizing with me and making me feel better about the best friend who dumped me to get married. But you know what the weird thing is, I cried on the way home from work that day for about 10 minutes and now I'm over it. I don't feel the least amount of sorry for myself now. God is so amazing, he stepped in and filled up my heart with so much love, who needs this other guy?

Second, I have been in rehearsal for "Quilters" for weeks now, and opening night is only days away. The 17th to be exact. Yes, I know that's a little more than a week, but we are so far from being ready I just want to sit down and cry. We haven't even learned the last song, what the heck, we're still having trouble with the first song, and we keep changing the blocking and some of the women are having trouble memorizing lines. I know that the closer we get to opening night the uglier it's gonna get, because tempers are gonna flare and words are gonna be flung. Big words, ugly words.

I'll let ya know what they are.

very interesting site

Oh yeah, I was browsing blogs today and came across this one called Postsecret that is awesome and definately worth taking a moment to look at.

are you gonna eat those?

Today there was a bake sale at work and so yesterday afternoon I got all set up to make some cupcakes. I followed the directions exactly like it said on the box. The batter was really runny, not thick at all, so I added like two table spoons of flour to the batter. When I took them out of the oven they looked well, not like cupcakes, more like biscuits but I let them cool and decided to taste one. It was horrible! blech nasty pukey and other choice words. When my sister came over she tried one and confirmed this statement. My mother on the other hand said we were over-reacting and didn't know what good food was.

Well, I had to use them because I didn't have time to go get anything else, so I thought maybe when I put the icing on them it would be ok. I had seen and episode of 30 minute meals on the food network where Rachael Ray was having a block party and made these fantastic cupcakes with fluffy icing made from powdered sugar. So I thought yeah I can do that, and I searched that website up and down but didn't find a thing about that episode but I did find a recipe on the sugar box so I used it, but my icing was not fluffy, it was runny, again, and not pretty at all. I used it anyway cause it was all I had.

I took them to work but told them not to sell them unless they were absolutely desperate. And they didn't. So now I have a cake pan full of toxic cupcakes that nobody wants.
So the moral of this long drawn out story is...well, nothing really, but I needed to share.

my heart part two

So, after I've had time to reflect, I know that there's nothing I can do about this situation. He's obviously decided (long ago) that his new love/fiance/obsession is more important than friends, so what can I do but move on. I don't need the heartache, and besides, God has so much better for me that he doesn't even compare.

I think I just needed to vent a little and actually put my feelings in writing to see how utterly useless it is to stress over some self-absorbed guy that has no cncern for my feelings. I'll just insert a "Right On!" here because I know when my sister reads this that's what she's gonna say.
I think this seems all jumbled up when I look back at what I wrote and probably doesn't make sense, but it's the best I can manage right now.

I'll be happier tomorrow.

here's your heart on a rusty stake...

So today I find out that the one guy I had so much in common with but haven't seen since September is getting married. Honestly, I got all swimmy headed and thought I was gonna pass out. I don't understand how you can spend 4 years with someone sharing more than is safe to mention intimate information and then totally drop them without so much as a "it was nice being your friend but I have new friends now". I feel like my heart has been ripped out with a rusty spiked spear and then paraded around on front street all over again. We had the discussion of "you don't have to call me anymore because I know you don't have time for me" a while back and I thought I had put the whole ugly thing behind me but now it's flooded back into my life with an overwhelming wave and all I want to do is wallow in self pity.

I do realize that I'm not the only one that has gone through this, and I won't be the last, but when it actually happens and it's your first real heartbreak, you feel like you are the only person on earth that could be feeling this crappy. Cue the violins with the sad melodramatic music. Cue the center spotlight with me alone sitting in a black chair on an empty stage. Or...I'll make it a red chair and that will be the hint that it won't be this way forever. I hope.

To Be Continued...

I went to Gatlinburg!

...or is it spelled Gatlinberg? I never know. Anyways, I went with the youth girls in my church for a 3 day retreat way high up in the Smoky Mountains. Waaaay up there! I drove in first gear thw whole way up to the chalet, but it was totally worth it. It was a time of well deserved rest and renewal, especially since school has just let out. The weather was great, the view was awesome, and the chalet was so much more than I ever expected or dreamed. It had 8 bedrooms, every one with a different theme, (mine had a moose theme), a jacuzzi, a sauna, and 4 levels. I wasn't able to be there for the first night (Tuesday), but I joined them Wednesday night and one of the first things I spotted was the plate of orange peels on the floor one of the girls had left earlier, so I had to be artistic and get a shot of it.
The bond that I see between these girls is so strong, and I am so happy to be able to be there to see them grow, struggle, love, cry, fight, make up, and be the young women God wants them to be. I'm glad I was able to go, not just as a chaperone, but as a friend, and hopefully the girls will remember some of the things they learned and apply it to their lives so that other people can see Jesus through them.

On another note, how awesome was the season finale of Lost? I finally got some answers and woo, Sayid is just Mr. Hottie Hot Pants when he came back with Claire's baby. Hurley was so funny and waah, I have to wait until next fall to find out what's in the hatch! I guess somehow I'll survive *sniff*.

So here are some pictures of the retreat, enjoy and I'm going to sleep now!

this is what I saw while I was sitting at Sonic waiting to meet up with my group

unintentional abandonment of your orange peel makes for interesting photography

another view taken on Friday morning

the view from our porch on top of the mountain

the group in Gatlinburg

Iris in my front yard

Allergies are fabulous, aren't they?

Don't you just love this time of year? The pollen count is off the charts, your eyes are full of glorious tears because of it, and your nose, well, your nose just itches with anticipation for the big flower to open and spurt its sneeze inducing insides into the air so that you can breathe in that wonderful scent of Kleenex and Blistek. WOO! GO Spring! Fill the air with your wonders! (that was for you Mark Ware)
Now, what I really feel like is poo and the tissue I have stuffed in my nose is so very attractive to all who see it. But the good news is I got to leave work early today! It's like attack of the sneeze monster and I'm next in line for total annihilation. I don't think I spelled that right...oh well. Hey I did, alright! I underestimate myself a lot.
ok that's all I want to say today.

fun at the theater and other stuff

Yahooo! I'm so excited, I got my first comment from somebody other that my sister! I've been reading Jenn's blog and visiting her website here lately, and tonight, I get on here and see she's found my tiny little blog! Yay, I'm happy.

So, as you can see, we had fun at the theater tonight. I love my digital camera!
We started blocking the first song in our new play, "Quilters", and let me tell ya, people who are not used to being on the stage have problems with keeping rhythm with others. My feet hurt very bad, tomorrow I'm wearing sneakers. I'm going to miss the fair for the Strawberry Festival which we here in Rhea County are famous for, because of rehearsal, and that sucks, because we go every year. We never ride any of the rides, but it's tradition to walk around the fair grounds and make fun of the people you used to go to school with, see who's dating who, and look at all the Mexicans who have come in to pick strawberries and other garden-ey things. Oh, don't look at me like that, I'm not prejudice, it's just what we do at the fair okay? So lay off! :)

On the homefront, another baby bird decided he liked the inside of the house better than his nest, as you can see in the photo, so while I held the couch on it's back legs me mother tried to find the little critter while unbeknownst to us he had flopped his way into the closet. So after cornering him, I put him outside under a bush, hopefully away from the cats. For about 30 minutes afterwards my dog stood at the door and whined because she knew where it was and wanted it baaaad.

Tired, going to bed, one...more...day.

Don't ask.

Alison, Anessa(my sister), and me (Leia) goofing off at the theater tonight

umm..it was hot

me on the way to the lake (my sister in the background)

Keela on our way to the lake on Mother's Day

This is what the fireplace looked like after I took it aprt to get the bird out

I came home from work yesterday to find this in my fireplace, and tonight the mama bird shoved another out of the nest into my stove pipe, and so I proceeded to move the furniture all over the living room to try and catch it, all while the dog and cats are licking their lips and whining for a bite! SO now it's outside and not in the house.

How much do we love her?

We love our mama so much that we took her to Wendy's drive through for Mother's Day, and then we went to Target and bought her (and me) a new purse, and then my sister and I went to Starbucks for some much needed refreshment. I told my sister that I think they put some kind of drug in their drinks because it's like every time we go to Knoxville now we have to go there even though we know how high their prices are and we never have any extra money to be spending. OR they have subliminal messages in their order screen that says "you must come back for more, you neeeeeed Starbucks coffee, oooooo" heh. Oh, but the Friday before I had a tiny snafu with a coworker who decided that seh hates the color purple and the screen on my computer was ugly and she was gonna tell our boss that I need to change it back, because she uses it soooo much more than I do (one day a week). How petty can you be. I was so upset because it's like she thinks everything is there for her convenience and if it's not, then it better be changed to suit her or waah she's gonna leave you a note and then woo look out your in trouble. Now though, it's laughable at best because even though she changed the computer to all the default settings over the weekend, I just changed 'em right back to the way I had it, and it's just giving her ulcers to worry about it. Monday was the day we discovered we have a dead animal in the house, more specifically around or in the fireplace, but we can't find it, so our neighbor tells Mama to get some lime and pour it in the chimney and that will dry out whatever it is. Do you know the smallest bag they sell is 50 pounds? So we now own 50 pounds of lime and have no use for it other than to pour it down the chimney, woo.

Book Fair!

We had a book fair today at work and I got some really nice handmade notecards and a paper craft book with all sorts of neat-o keen-o things to make! Not that I'm going to actually make any of them, but it's a nice thing to have, you know, just in case. :)

Today was also the release of Phantom of the Opera on DVD, so I had to haul myself over to Wally World and get me a copy, since I got a lovely DVD player for Christmas from my seester. Woo hoo! She had to get her own copy, even though her husband tried to get her to share with me, but we all know that you gotta have your own copy of a great movie, right? I think it is one of the best movies I have seen on the big screen in a long time, but then again, I don't go to the movies very often. I also got a new pair of pajama pants. They're light green with white daisies on them and yellow rick-rack around the legs, very cute! So, this was a good day all around, I got lots of cool shtuff, the weather was nice, and Jesus loves me!

the paper craft book, hee hee heeee

2 of the notecards, not very good, I didn't use a flash because when I did, it was all washed out, but these are a tad dark.

next 2 cards

last card

Title? what title?

yeah, cause I couldn't think of a good title for this entry, ok? Anyway, yesterday I had the surprising priviledge of being part of the Rhea Arts Council music awards ceremony...thing...I'm not sure what it's really called, but I was there. They have it every year leading up to the Strawberry Festival, and I always intend on entering the photography part of the contest, but I always seem to miss the deadline, hrmm. So,I went with the theater to read some scenes from the next play "Quilters", and in between the kiddies playing their music selections, we "entertained" the parents that showed up, becuase that's really the only audience there was. I was a tad nervous because I've only read the script once, not out loud, and so when I got up to read the parts I was told to read, I could barely move I was shaking so bad! There's one scene where this girl talksabout making a Sunbonnet Sue quilt, only it's the demise of Sunbonnet Sue and it's like all the ways she could think of to kill her, and she puts it on her sister's bed, and when her sister sees it she screams, so guess who got to scream? Yep, li'l ol'me. It was the most nerve-wracking thing I've done in a while. It upset me so much my stomach hurt for the rest of the day! I guess because I had to put so much emotion behind it to make it come out real, it was very strange. It was like it came from the bottom of my stomach and out my throat like I was throwing up or something. It was a strange afternoon.

I also went to a Mothers and Others dinner at church with my mommy and sister, and had some great food and listened to a wonderful speaker who strangely enough, we knew, but that's not the strange part. Her sister and my sister were friends in school, but we always percieved them to be snotty rich kids who got everything they wanted. You know the kind I mean, like when you say their name it's always with a sneer and a fake posh accent. But now, she's a missionary and has such a heart for God it makes me ashamed of the way we used to talk about, well her, at least. Her message was so simple, all the things you need to know to follow God. Wow, I never thought of it the way she explained it, but now I have a better understanding of how to go about doing things for God. so thank you Chrissy, for putting back on the right track.